Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Parents' Resolutions for the New Year

I'm not sure that I consider myself to be one for "resolutions" perse, but I do like to have goals/objectives for the new year... something to look forward to... something to aim to do.. ie. run a 1/2 marathon.. I like to make a collage to "put out there" what I want for myself and my family and allow the 'universe' to guide me along (w/ work on my part of course). See THIS post for reference to these!

I came across the "resolution" below and really liked. Though my children are young I really FEEL this list ... I will post it and keep it where I can see it to remind me of the kind of parent I want to be. It's so easy to worry you are going to screw up your kids.. to react in the moment and forget the big picture... happy confident and responsible... that sounds like my kind of kid.

Have a fabulous start to your New Year... and may all of your "resolutions" stick!

Parents' Resolutions for the New Year
No matter what's happened in the past, you can raise happy, confident, and responsible kids starting right now
By Chick Moorman and Thomas Haller


In 2007, I resolve not to teach my children to have a happy, productive life, but rather to help them choose a happy, productive day.I resolve to help my children appreciate that there is no such thing as failure, only temporary results that they can use as feedback to determine their next step.I resolve to fix problems rather than fix blame by maintaining a solution-seeking mindset and teaching my children a problem-solving process.

I resolve to aid my children in their struggle with autonomy by creating a balance of power through a shared control style of parenting.

I resolve to remember that I want children to behave in ways that reflect what THEY find unacceptable, not in ways that I, the parent, find unacceptable.

I resolve to welcome interpersonal skill errors as learning experiences and as important opportunities to implement consequences.

I resolve to parent in a way that demonstrates that I believe the only authority children take with them everywhere they go is their inner authority.

I resolve to allow my responses to my children to reflect a knowing that some lapses in self-control are developmentally appropriate. I will remember that they behave in certain ways because they are five or eight or fourteen years old.

I resolve to parent in a way that reflects my belief that the process is as important as the product.

When I am stumped and don't know how to respond to one of my children, I promise to ask myself, "What would love do now?" I also intend to listen internally for an answer.

I resolve to recall that I can choose to see any parenting situation differently from the way I have been seeing it. I will remember that perception is always a choice.

I resolve to relax, while remembering that relaxing does not mean resigning.

I resolve to make my approach to parenting reflect the notion that raising a child is more about drawing out what already exists in a youngster rather than about putting in to fill perceived deficiencies.

I resolve to focus on the main purpose of parenting, the creation of who and what we really are as human beings.

I resolve to remember that "being right" doesn't work.

I resolve to parent as if I believe that a child's I AM (I am athletic, I am creative, etc.) is more important than his or her IQ.

I resolve to live today as if attitudes were more easily caught than taught.

I resolve to help my children and myself stay conscious of the choices we are making.

I resolve to remember the adage, "If you want a behavior, you have to teach a behavior," and I resolve to put that adage into practice in my home.

I resolve to see the hurting child in the child that hurts others.

I resolve to "be" the change I wish to see in my family.

I resolve to talk less and listen more.

I resolve to remember that experience can be messy. I will allow my children to learn from the messes they make and the cleanup that follows.

I resolve to hold my children accountable for their actions and choices with gentleness and love.

I will implement consequences consistently and allow my children to experience the related, respectful, reality-based consequences that flow directly from their actions.

I resolve to make myself dispensable and assist my children in becoming increasingly in charge of themselves and their own lives.

I resolve to refrain from making my children wrong for their choices, even as I hold them accountable for their actions.

I resolve to recognize that my children are in my life as much so I can learn from them as they are so they can learn from me. I will be open to the lessons my children offer me and honor them for helping me learn and grow.

2 comments:

  1. Jennie4:28 PM

    What great resolutions! I love them! I identify so many of those. Where did that list come from. When teaching kids, I find myself at crossroads everyday in which I have a choice on how to handle a situation. One path leads to hurt, one path leads to love. I pray everyday for God to give me the strength to choose the path of love.
    Thanks for the post-it's a keeper!

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  2. I get daily quotes from www.beliefenet.com here's the link (you'll have to copy and paste) to the resolutions: http://www.beliefnet.com/story/207/story_20796_1.html

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