Thursday, April 15, 2010

Reality Check One, Two, One, Two

So I've been on the endurance train for a while. I took some pit stops here and there and I know I always feel better when I'm on the train, but seriously. Every time I get race photos back I think to myself, (YES THIS IS TOTALLY VEIN) "really I bust my ass and THIS is what I get?" I work out A LOT people. Run run run run and run some more. Now adding swimming and riding (new in the last three years anyway). And while this has certainly helped my pants size (why do people refer to it as dress size.. I mean really, who wears dresses anymore) my 'physique' is still not where I would like it to be.

I mean sure it could be worse, don't get me wrong most days I feel pretty good about the result, but really... it could be better. A lot better.

As most of you know I have been doing some P90X.. now I say some b/c I haven't done the program all out. I've done the weight sessions only and none of the other stuff... b/c well I've been running and riding and swimming. So each session takes under and hour... YES UNDER an hour. I run for at a minimum of 40 mins to an hour... MINIMUM! And my long runs take 1.5 to 2 hours at a minimum.

Anyway... a lot of you have asked... "is it worth it? Does P90X really work?" Well I would definitely say that I am getting stronger... still no pull up unassisted, but it's early. So here's what I'm committing to my dear readers. I will do the program. I'm going to consider myself 30 days in already... even though I didn't do the first 30 days all out. I don't want to start that round all over again b/c I don't want to get bored. I've done that round (half assed) more than once already.

So I'm going to do the program. I'll take photos. I already took my "30 day photos" which, I'm sorry, but I refuse to post until I have something better to look at. Most of you saw the bikini photos on facebook from when I went to Miami. They look about the same. This is where my original "Reality Check, One, Two, One, Two" came from. I took those photos and when I looked at them I immediately wanted to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's b/c really. I do all this work, I DON'T Eat Ben and Jerry's and I look like THAT! SHIT! SHIT SHIT!!! It's time to do some work! REALLY!

Yes this post is vein. Am I proud of my athletic achievements?? HELLS YES! Am I proud of the way I look in a bikini.. absolutely NOT! So it's time for me to stop whining about it and drowning myself in imaginary ben and jerry's and start building some metabolism boosting muscle.

And just for you my dear readers... starting after my trip to Seattle I will even haul my lazy ass out of bed before the kids get up and get my P90X in so that I still have time during school hours to run ... b/c let's face it... I need it for my mental fortitude really.

PS. Most of you know I have some issues w/ food. (meaning I can't eat like a normal person b/c well my belly rebels!) so I won't be doing their food program, but based on what I've read / heard it's Paleo like.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Minis

I realize there hasn't been much of an update on the kiddos. :) LOVE LOVE LOVE the iPhone, but it has caused me to basically quit taking photos w/ our 'real' camera. I dusted it off and took a couple of videos and photos... mostly after going through some old blog posts and really enjoying the old videos.

The kids LOVE to ride their bikes. Jason is on his walking bike here b/c we lost a training wheel in the move.. we finally replaced it, but this was taken before that.

They ride up and down the street together.. racing then waiting for each other. it's so cute. They are best buds.

Baseball is another favorite. Jason has great hand eye coordination. He can it a ball.. he can hit a target throwing a ball. It surprises me every time. Here is a typical session w/ Jason and Lily...

What's up at Che Mount?

Lots of things rolling around in the ol' noggin'... Have that caged animal feeling again.. I come and go w/ this. A good work out should help. Hey, wait.. I had two good work outs over the last three days.

I'm feeling like I don't want to register for races for a while. I just want to do ... whatever. I know I need to run, but I don't really feel like it right now. I'd rather ride my bike... and that's all well and good, but I have another half marathon coming up in three weeks. I should run. Really. I also kinda want to focus more on weights, but as I said after the Danbury 1/2 lifting and running and riding 'some' doesn't prepare you well for an endurance event... So that's what I'm thinking today. We'll see how I feel after some time goes by. I will go to spin class tomorrow. I will lift tomorrow. I will ride my bike on Thursday w/ Tom. I will lift on Thursday. I'll run on Friday and Sunday (we'll see if I can cram something in on Saturday before we head out on our trip) and I'll run next week while we're in Seattle...

And I've made a decision about going back to school. I'm not. 1. it's not the right time for me and 2. I'm not even sure that's the direction I want my life to go. I've got nothing but time. :)

I'm starting to feel like some goals are surfacing in my mind. Will work on getting them on paper.

In the mean time I couldn't be more excited about spending some time in the PNW! I miss Seattle SO much.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Danbury Half Marathon

So I kind of forgot this race was coming up. I didn't really look at the map (I guess I don't normally pay too much attention to that.. I like to be surprised) and I had no idea what the elevation would be like. Though I did suspect it would be hilly b/c, well, it's hilly here. Thank God I've been out there running the hills for the last 5 months (OMG have we really been here for 5 months already?).

I was more nervous than expected before the race started. Thankfully I ran into someone I know from swimming and was able to chat w/ her for a bit to take my mind off the race. I usually spend a fair amount of time on visualization ... none for this race. I thought a little bit last night about what I wanted to put into and get out of this race. Did I want to just run it? Did I want to blow myself up and push the pace as hard as I could.. it is a 'race' after all. I never really gave it my usual amount of mental energy so I guess I inadvertently gave it the 'whatever happens happens' mentality.

I seated myself too close to the front. Or at least I've decided that it's better (mentally, for me) to start a bit more toward the middle so that I can pass some people instead of either 1. get passed or 2. try w/ all my might to hang w/ the speedsters only to have my heart feel like it's going to pound out of my chest. I started out fast and knew I was going too fast but decided to just hang in there and see what happened. The first three miles were sub8... needless to say after those first three were over I was OUT for the sub8 run. :) I knew I wouldn't be able to sustain that pace, but hey, it was fun while it lasted. The first half of the race was relatively flat. At one point around mile 6 or so I passed a guy on a hill and he and I chatted a moment then he said to me, "good luck on the hills." I was all, "yeah you too." not really thinking much of it. Thinking it would be more of the same.. uh, nope. The hills weren't brutally steep (okay a couple of them were) they were mostly rollers... long relentless rollers. The good thing about them being relentless is that every time I thought that word I thought of my good friend Mama Marie. (she once called having twins relentless... so now that word ALWAYS makes me think of her. Love you and miss you Mama Marie!) Thinking of Marie helped get me going. We were die hard work out buddies back in the day. SWOON... How I miss that!

As always there were a couple of ladies I kept my eye on to 'hold on for dear life' to my pace. I passed only one of them. I caught up to one and chatted w/ her for a bit, but she went on to finish a bit in front of me.. seconds?? Minutes?? Not sure.

Around mile 8 a guy in FiveFingers passed me like I was standing still. Around mile 6 my knee had started reporting to me that my shoes are coming to the end of their long run usability and I thought for a moment that maybe I should start easing into the FiveFingers to see how that goes. I am going to hit the running store while in Seattle (as we don't have one anywhere around here) to get some new shoes. I'm excited to have someone watch me run and fit me for some shoes. I've been running in the same style of Asics since I first really got into running back in 1998.. Holy crap.. TWELVE YEARS I've been running. Off and on of course until I had kids. My stride has changed immensely over the last training season (aka winter) so I think it's time to reevaluate some things. I'm still having some trouble w my poor sore toes.

The last half of the race was hard... it went by at a relative pace... I didn't want to die or anything... I'm proud to say that though I considered it a couple of times I DID NOT walk ANY of the hills. I put my head down and ran (okay plodded) up EVERY SINGLE one!

I'm happy w/ my time considering the hills, the fact that I've mostly been lifting and riding and my runs have been subpar. Can't say that AT THIS MOMENT I'm real excited about running another race in 3 weeks... ON TRAILS, but I'm sure I'll feel more excited about it, uh, soon. Northface Challenge here I come!

Now I'm wiped out and could really use a nap, but all you moms know that's just not in the cards. Five more hours until I can go to bed! :D

Still thinking about those goals... tried to go there during the run. Runs are usually good for that stuff, but I feel like there is a PHYSICAL block there not letting my mind think about such things!! Weird! So I plod along in life and take it day by day...

Saturday, April 10, 2010

What Race and 3 year brainstorming

So TOMORROW is the Danbury Half Marathon. I feel like it's not even on my radar. So unprepared fro this... just going to run it for fun. I haven't really 'trained' for it per se. I know I can complete it. I was going to go run for 4 miles today, but we had such fun as a family and I didn't want to step away from it knowing I would be gone for 3 hours in the middle of the day tomorrow. I did a little Core Synergistics from P90X and got a sweat on so I called it good.

I really want to focus on my core and get stronger in that department. Which means I must start doing the core work outs huh? :) This week was a good week. Did some P90X Ab Ripper, Core Synergistics and some stuff off YouTube just to mix it up. (the name suggested that I would get a 6 pack if I did it regularly... :D ) So this week I hit my goal of three times a week.

I'm VERY excited to find out that a new friend is into weight training and works out in the early morning. AND she just joined my gym!!!! I so could use some motivation and support from someone that's into weight training. I've seen so many women working the weights at this gym... way more than my last gym. And they look GOOD. Strong, lean women. I love it, but I haven't yet met any of them yet. They get in there and do their workouts before I'm even done slugging it out on the treadmill. AND they look way better than me. HMMM. Who knows what they might be doing outside of the time that I see them, but it's starting to look like I could work out WAY LESS in a DIFFERENT way and get BETTER results. Regardless of the fact that I'm a total endurance junky and need my fix... but it's looking like perhaps I wouldn't have to add THAT much time to my work out allotment for the day/week and I would get good results. So the weight training continues via P90X and hopefully will get kicked up a notch w/ my new buddy. I'm lifting as heavy as I can for now to see what kind of results I can get.. okay so maybe not as heavy as I can for I am limited by the weights I have at home, but heavier than I ever have (in my intermittent past weight training programs). Maybe I'll get crazy and take some photos of myself in a bikini to post LATER w/ my AFTER photos!

In my obsessive blog surfing I found Goals for the Week, and particularly THIS post. As most of you know I really love the new year... looking forward at a blank slate that I can mold to my (well mostly my) liking. Dreaming of all the things I want to do. I was excited to see her process and decided to give it a whirl myself. Fancy new sparkle pen (Lily's new obsession) to make it fun and a blank page. Now 3 year goals. SHIT! I couldn't really come up with anything that I felt was all that exciting or inspiring. HUH? What? Same old stuff getting written down. I decided to walk away from it for a bit. I reread her post and then noticed the word brainstorming and decided that might be a better approach for me than the list. Here is how far I got. "Jason and Lily will turn (GASP) seven and will be in first grade." Stumped. That's it. That's all I wrote.... comes to mind.. the same old same old... be organized, STOP being bloated, move back to the PNW, have a six pack, be able to do proper pull ups and more push ups (I'm up to 10 REAL push ups right now.. thank you very much. I suppose the P90X is starting show dividends.)... and there you have it (okay... Ironman may have been on that list)... that's all I could come up with. I feel like a goal setting loser and failure. I know that is not the point.

I won't give up. I will keep coming back to it until I have something more interesting for myself.....

We are now in the ONE WEEK count down to our trip to Seattle!!!! YEAH!

Thursday, April 08, 2010


and SO sick of it! I know I know. Where is the positivity I promised. It's coming. I PROMISE! But in the mean time... I look like I'm 20 weeks pregnant on a good day and by the end of the day it's more like 30! SERIOUSLY! This is so NOT cool!!! I work my ASS off and this is what I get. UGH!

And before you start to give me advice (not that I mind it b/c I don't) I eat a shit ton of fiber and drink buckets of water... and nothing wants to come out the other end. WHY!

I'm sorry. I know this is a lot of info to put out into the ether for the world to see, but I'm just so damn sick of it! It doesn't seem to be diet related b/c I have had this problem for a long time. I was trying to remember the first time it was a really bad problem and the first time that comes to mind it was 2002 I think. I had recently gotten off the pill and I remember standing in the dining room complaining to Tom about it. I only mention the BC thing b/c it helps w/ the time frame and because I suspect this is hormone related. Back then I was basically an eat anything girl... still 'healthy' in my eyes at the time, but wheat (processed / packaged stuff), dairy, meat.. scones (MMM scones.. I miss you) and coffee. And now... well it's the opposite. The only thing from that list that is still on the menu is coffee. :) AND YET ... still have a problem. Can you imagine the amount of fiber that goes in my mouth. FRUITS AND VEGGIES>>>> all day!

Anyway. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this. I guess advice is always welcome. Anyone know if it's okay to drink Smooth Move Tea EVERY FREAKIN day!? Probably not a great idea, but oh how much better I would feel.

I've considered calling the doc, but I know he's just going to want to put a camera where I don't really want a camera. I know this isn't normal.. but what can he do???

Okay... got that off my chest........... I guess I shared it bc I feel it's a huge contributor to my stagnate exercise program..

Yea.. what about that.. I run almost every day too.. and STILL NOTHING! GRR!

Baby Girl

My baby girl is on the web. My dad just called to tell me that Lily was on the Schwinn website. I knew this photo was in print, but didn't know they had it online!

She's FAMOUS! HA HA Check it out HERE.

No time to update right now. Just wanted to share. :D

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

6.7 miles of hills

My run today was another tough one. I'm really pushing the pace for some reason. It's really strange... it's like my natural turn over/cadence is higher than my heart can keep up w/ now. Thanks speed training. I feel myself just suffering and get frustrated with myself for not being able to have a good strong run then I look down at my Garmin and I'm running sub8s. SERIOUSLY!? What's the matter w/ you SLOW down. So I slow down... only to find myself suffering at sub8 again.

I know I shouldn't be complaining. I worked hard to get some speed, but then I try to run up a hill and implode. My heart rate is already sky rocketing (side note: I finally found my heart rate strap - right where it was supposed to be - not sure how I missed it. So I will be wearing that more to keep tabs on what's up) and then I try to run up an MFer of a hill and just... can't... hold... on. FRUSTRATED.

Hmm.. this here blog is like therapy. Looks like I am doing this to myself. I set out today hoping to have a nice easy 8 mile run and ended up w/ an A$$ kicking 6.7 mile run. I never did find my groove... b/c my heart felt like it was going to explode. Well.. no wonder. I was running sub8s. I'm not sure who or what I'm racing against. I would be lying if I didn't say I didn't want to start posting slower runs ... but damn. I'm entitled to some slow ones right? Ha

I do want to start riding my bike more, but I've gone and registered for a bunch of running races. How much will cycling translate to running. Enough I'm sure. Jesus.. what am I doing to myself. I can CAN go out and run for fun.

I have a half marathon this weekend that I don't feel prepared for. I kinda forgot about it and then was writing out my calendar for April and realized.. oh it's April. I have a race. Then next month another half.. a trail run so I'm just going to go enjoy it... walk the hills if I need to. My limited trail running experience tells me my heart rate will really jack up on trails... so no worries. See some scenery enjoy the C02 from the trees. Enjoy the QUIET!

June brings a sprint tri (I think.. I got in late through a friend and am assuming I'm in... ) and a relay.

I'm still toying w/ the idea of doing a 70.3... I think I could pull it off, but better get my butt on my bike. Which I want to do anyway!

Ramble much?

I want to start posting more regularly, but wanted to be in a more positive place. The more I think about it the more I think it's actually just as beneficial to put the negative out there too. (obviously for me) As I've mentioned more than once it's hard to read all the info that makes it seem like everyone has a 'perfect' life (in many different areas). While I might seem to be some sort of rock star in other people's eyes (though this is hard for me to believe or imagine) it's good for everyone to see that I suffer too.. I have slumps (sometimes long ones) and it's okay if/when they do too. You just have to keep getting on the horse until the kinks get worked out!

I've been discovering lots of cool new blogs and it inspires me to keep this one chugging along. I want to change the name of it... or perhaps I need to start another one and get back to some family blogging. I know some of you would really rather see photos of the kids and hear more about what they are doing and less about how my work outs are going.

Thursday, April 01, 2010


Had a good run today and am working on digging my fingernails deep into my mojo and am hanging on for dear life!!!!

Part of my problem w/ the mojo has been that my digestion is just WRECKED lately. Think horribly bloated ALL THE DAMN time.. I look like I'm about 5 months pregnant by the end of the day.. it's just ridiculous! I've suffered w/ this for a LLLLOOONNNGGG time and it comes and goes in severity. I'm - once again - working to try to eliminate (no pun intended) this problem. It's very frustrating and hard to run w/o discomfort.

Today it wasn't as uncomfortable as other days and I was able to take my mind off of it and onto better things... I think the sun shine helped a lot.

Okay... off to do P90X before I go pick up the kids and rock the yard!