Monday, January 14, 2008

Hardest job in the WORLD!

Never again will I feel a shred of embarrassment or inferiority when I say I am a stay at home mom. This is by FAR the hardest most challenging job EVER!!! If only I could drop these kids off somewhere every day for 8 hours and let someone else deal w/ them and teach them manners, how to clean up, how to go potty on the potty, how to read, sing, dance, spell... blah blah blah. No disrespect intended to those of my mom friends (or anyone else that might stumble upon this site) ... I can't even IMAGINE trying to get my poop in a group in the a.m. to get the kids ANYWHERE on time much less then only have the few hours in the evening to squeeze in quality time, dinner and baths.... I'm just saying.. DAMN!!! This job is hard. It's hard whether you work or not, but I'm not just running around having fun play dates, enjoying coffee and scones w/ my friends while the kids are happily playing. I won't lie... when Karen (my SIL and first friend to have a kid) had Liam and started staying home I truly had the coffee shop/scone scenario in my mind. Oh how wrong was I!?

Today parenting was like trying to tread water w/ weights on my ankles or taking a turn in the washing machine.

We are at that age / stage where it's time to stop just being a parent and start parenting. No more letting the kids do whatever.. Well, not WHATever, but you know ... no more turning their little table over an crawling all over it, no more giving them their cups w/ straws and lids w/o the lid bc that's the way they want it (there is a lid there for a reason!!! Scream all you want!), no more scattering toys every which way all day w/o having to clean any of them up, no more moving the dining chairs into the living room, no more throwing stuff all over the kitchen then leaving it there to move onto the next disaster! NO MORE acting like a hurricane running through the house w/ me in the wake cleaning up. I need mommy boot camp!

Frankly I don't really mind my laze fair approach to parenting, but I know it's not doing them any favors. I'm starting to see it at other places... I let them explore and do whatever which I think is good to a point. NOw that they are getting bigger and more capable they need to understand that not every table can be flipped over and climbed on. Today I had flashes of 2 years from now w/ me on Super nanny wondering how it got so bad. HA! Really the kids aren't that bad at all, but I'm feeling like they can use some 'direction'... wow, it's a lot of work. Jason got many time outs today. I found that I had a hard time figuring out where to draw the line. Like should he get a time out for not listening when I've asked him nicely to come HERE and he has sat in the tent ignoring me w/ a little smirk on his face (when I finally popped my head in to see if he was doing something and ignoring me or just sitting there intentionally ignoring me). It's absolutely exhausting disciplining all day...

This a.m. was fine... because we hit the gym by 8:15am, but the afternoon really pushed me to the edge. I so miss the days of being able to just drop babies in the jogger and head to the park when we all start feeling a little cooped up. I find myself at a loss for things to do w/ the kids. I guess all they really want is for me to get on the floor and play silly games w/ them, but I, uh, get bored. :( I try to do little dances / games w/ them but I think they get bored. Anyway....

Today was one of those days where I wonder how any parent regains there ability to be a functioning contributing adult after they have kids. My mind is so full and distracted with the kids. I guess I do feel a bit of clarity after the yelling and screaming goes to bed.

It's funny lately they are mimicking each other all the time. If one gets hurt and starts to cry the other will mimic whatever happened then pretend to cry, when Lily starts to scream b/c she wants her pacifier Jason will follow suit though he has no interest in a pacifier, when one makes a big loud obnoxious (not crying / screaming just playing and experimenting) sound the other will do it too and if I tell them to stop they laugh and do it again and again. The joys! ;)

Yesterday Jason pushed Lily down and I made him take a time out and when it was over I asked him to say sorry to Lily and give her a hug. He said, "Sorry Sissy" and gave her a big hug. It was very sweet. He did it again a few minutes later... the pushing down, time out and sorry, but not the hug.

They had their 18 month check up the other day and I keep meaning to post their stats:

Jason: Height 33" (60% - wow and almost exactly half my height... could that be right?), Weight 25lbs10oz (40%) and head: 46.9" (20%)

Lily: Height 31.5" (30% much higher than her previous 15% or so), Weight 22lbs12oz (20%), Head 46.3" (35%)

They did a great job at the FOREVER long appt and only got one shot. We decided to delay the next round until they are 2 (the MMR, Chicken pox - which I hope to not do at all, and some other thing). They did get the Hep A just b/c Tom travels so much. This way if he brings something nasty home they are protected.

Things are well here... except that it's snowing and Tom is gone... but he'll be back soon and this year will start to fly by... :) Enough of my drivel I must MUST sleep!

10 comments:

  1. I hear you, I hear you, I hear you!! I agree 100%!!! Who knew being a SAHM would be this freakin hard? No one told us that : ) And it does stink when you have to start enforcing all of the "we do do this" and "that isn't nice" and "we can't just pull someone's hair" etc.. I am having a very hard time right now with Madelyn and it seems I take her to time out every few minutes (I know I don't but it seems like that is all I do all day!). But it does work. And in the end all of your hard effort is worth it. But whew-- it is exhausting-- and when your husband is gone, that makes it even worse :( Good luck and we'll be thinking about you over here in TN!!

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  2. Kelly1:56 PM

    Wow Laura! Stick with it. I can't imagine with two.. but you are right.. being a GOOD parent is really hard, exhausting work. I think it was the hardest from 18 mos. to 2.5 years. It will get easier. That's why we started AKC -- for parents who are at a loss of "what to do" and need a quick answer fast. Do the circle craft... so easy.
    Love ya,
    Kelly

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  3. I'm with ya! Parenting is BY FAR the hardest thing... and if you don't have kids, well, sorry, you just don't understand!! From what I can tell from your blog- you are a great mom!! Keep up the good work!! And remember you're not the only one feeling this way...

    Laura (Karen's friend)

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  4. PS- My kids are now 5 and 3 (and please Lord, don't let me jinx myself), but they are somewhat "good" kids- with manners, respect for others, listening abilities, and politeness...
    Don't get me wrong-they're not angels all the time BUT it does get a bit easier and the constant nagging, time-outs, etc. does pay off!!!

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  5. I so don't want to turn into that constant nag... I hope that your comment means that you may do a lot of nagging and time outs now, but they will get it and the need will decrease... I DO NOT want to call the Super Nanny! ha

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  6. I agree - freakin' hard. I think no matter what there are days that you feel like you need the supernanny!

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  7. I watched part of super nanny last night (why, why do I watch that show?) and I about cried b/c I have totally lost it just like that lady.. not as much as she does, but I have and I was sad to see it on national tv.. NEVER EVER would I be on that show!! Too much reality in my face! I've gotta say that the more I work out the better I am as a mother.. not sure if that's b/c the kids spend 2 hours at the day care on those days or b/c I have gotten some stress out! :)

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  8. I hear that things get a little easier when they turn 18. Except for sometimes it's 20. And then sometimes longer. So, figure you might only have 16 more years of this.

    We recently picked up a few books. 123-Magic and Parenting With Love & Logic. They're both parenting "approaches" and fairly popular right now. Maybe even trendy. They focus more on training the parent rather than the child. That makes sense to me. We've only just started 123, but it's been a pretty positive experience. We need to get serious about it and be consistent, but I've already seen it work. Love & Logic is the one I was most interested in, but I haven't had time too start it yet. Check 'em out next time you're at the book store with your girlfriends having coffee

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  9. Oh I know, I know. I really did not enjoy parenting from 15 to 24 months, isn't that sad? But so true. Good thing they're so cute at that age. It's gotten easier since she turned 2. More responsive sort of, when she feels like it. I think I don't take it all so personally anymore. Like "OMG, she's laughing at me while I discipline her, she's going to be a psychopath." They ARE just little, narcissistic (sp)adorable monsters. Feels good to know we're all fighting the same battles. Godspeed Laura. You're an awesome mom!

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  10. karen p3:57 PM

    I'm already worried about the discipline part...Fi already looks at us and shakes her head then laughs hilariously. Is losing it in front of your kids a bad thing? Maybe it's good for them to think that mom might go crazy at any given moment...keep them guessing ;-)

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