Never again will I feel a shred of embarrassment or inferiority when I say I am a stay at home mom. This is by FAR the hardest most challenging job EVER!!! If only I could drop these kids off somewhere every day for 8 hours and let someone else deal w/ them and teach them manners, how to clean up, how to go potty on the potty, how to read, sing, dance, spell... blah blah blah. No disrespect intended to those of my mom friends (or anyone else that might stumble upon this site) ... I can't even IMAGINE trying to get my poop in a group in the a.m. to get the kids ANYWHERE on time much less then only have the few hours in the evening to squeeze in quality time, dinner and baths.... I'm just saying.. DAMN!!! This job is hard. It's hard whether you work or not, but I'm not just running around having fun play dates, enjoying coffee and scones w/ my friends while the kids are happily playing. I won't lie... when Karen (my SIL and first friend to have a kid) had Liam and started staying home I truly had the coffee shop/scone scenario in my mind. Oh how wrong was I!?
Today parenting was like trying to tread water w/ weights on my ankles or taking a turn in the washing machine.
We are at that age / stage where it's time to stop just being a parent and start parenting. No more letting the kids do whatever.. Well, not WHATever, but you know ... no more turning their little table over an crawling all over it, no more giving them their cups w/ straws and lids w/o the lid bc that's the way they want it (there is a lid there for a reason!!! Scream all you want!), no more scattering toys every which way all day w/o having to clean any of them up, no more moving the dining chairs into the living room, no more throwing stuff all over the kitchen then leaving it there to move onto the next disaster! NO MORE acting like a hurricane running through the house w/ me in the wake cleaning up. I need mommy boot camp!
Frankly I don't really mind my laze fair approach to parenting, but I know it's not doing them any favors. I'm starting to see it at other places... I let them explore and do whatever which I think is good to a point. NOw that they are getting bigger and more capable they need to understand that not every table can be flipped over and climbed on. Today I had flashes of 2 years from now w/ me on Super nanny wondering how it got so bad. HA! Really the kids aren't that bad at all, but I'm feeling like they can use some 'direction'... wow, it's a lot of work. Jason got many time outs today. I found that I had a hard time figuring out where to draw the line. Like should he get a time out for not listening when I've asked him nicely to come HERE and he has sat in the tent ignoring me w/ a little smirk on his face (when I finally popped my head in to see if he was doing something and ignoring me or just sitting there intentionally ignoring me). It's absolutely exhausting disciplining all day...
This a.m. was fine... because we hit the gym by 8:15am, but the afternoon really pushed me to the edge. I so miss the days of being able to just drop babies in the jogger and head to the park when we all start feeling a little cooped up. I find myself at a loss for things to do w/ the kids. I guess all they really want is for me to get on the floor and play silly games w/ them, but I, uh, get bored. :( I try to do little dances / games w/ them but I think they get bored. Anyway....
Today was one of those days where I wonder how any parent regains there ability to be a functioning contributing adult after they have kids. My mind is so full and distracted with the kids. I guess I do feel a bit of clarity after the yelling and screaming goes to bed.
It's funny lately they are mimicking each other all the time. If one gets hurt and starts to cry the other will mimic whatever happened then pretend to cry, when Lily starts to scream b/c she wants her pacifier Jason will follow suit though he has no interest in a pacifier, when one makes a big loud obnoxious (not crying / screaming just playing and experimenting) sound the other will do it too and if I tell them to stop they laugh and do it again and again. The joys! ;)
Yesterday Jason pushed Lily down and I made him take a time out and when it was over I asked him to say sorry to Lily and give her a hug. He said, "Sorry Sissy" and gave her a big hug. It was very sweet. He did it again a few minutes later... the pushing down, time out and sorry, but not the hug.
They had their 18 month check up the other day and I keep meaning to post their stats:
Jason: Height 33" (60% - wow and almost exactly half my height... could that be right?), Weight 25lbs10oz (40%) and head: 46.9" (20%)
Lily: Height 31.5" (30% much higher than her previous 15% or so), Weight 22lbs12oz (20%), Head 46.3" (35%)
They did a great job at the FOREVER long appt and only got one shot. We decided to delay the next round until they are 2 (the MMR, Chicken pox - which I hope to not do at all, and some other thing). They did get the Hep A just b/c Tom travels so much. This way if he brings something nasty home they are protected.
Things are well here... except that it's snowing and Tom is gone... but he'll be back soon and this year will start to fly by... :) Enough of my drivel I must MUST sleep!