Okay... so I have sent out "oh shit I don't want to train and do this race" emails to both my 'training partners' Gena and Andy. Gena has been injured... well had injury after injury... and ridiculously busy w/ work and life, Andy has been injured and having a hard time getting the workouts in around work and family life. Gena's response to my 'I'm this { } close to bailing' email, was "I'll think about it and might agree with you". Andy's was "It's going to blow b/c my training hasn't been what I wanted to be, but I'M DOING THE RACE."
Most days I don't know who I am exactly... aside from "MMMMMOOOOMMMMMYYYY!!!!"... but I do know who I'm not. I'm NOT a quitter. I came this far. I can do this race. I won't be thinking of a time. I think I got too wrapped up in that and when I couldn't perform to the level I thought I should be able to I got frustrated. I worked myself so hard that I would be tired and cranky and irritable. So I would be away from the fam damily a lot and when I was around the family I would be WORKED over. So now I'm doing the work outs and planning on enjoying the race as much as I can.
What kind of example would I be setting for the TNT group I'm training w/ right now if I bailed on my long race? "If it gets hard just bail!" What kind of message is that? What of the fact that I included this race in my fundraising letter for TNT? What message would I send to my donors if I bailed? There have been a few people that have gone the extra mile in their donations and I need to honor that!
So I trudge on and get through and plan to do the race and enjoy it. I swam a 2300 today and didn't want to slit my wrists so that's a good sign. I also did a run this evening and didn't feel that it was too over the top. Only two more weeks of insane work out scheduling, one race, and then I taper, then I race, then I take some time off while we are visiting the fam in Seattle, then I train for a MUCH SHORTER race... which will be like maintanence/vacation! :)
Thanks for the pep talks from various persons telling me basically that I should "just do it" :) (WO)MAN UP!
Contributing to my thoughts of bailing were the torrential downpours we experienced here causing me to miss a 2 hour run b/c 1. it was raining bucketloads and 2. our basement flooded (frustration level rising... pocketbook draining to fix the problem).... We got the water out w/ minimal damage and are talking to our AWESOME contractor (that I've mentioned before), Scott, who I emailed late on Sunday and he was at our house mid afternoon on Monday to discuss what we needed to do. Scott, I know you don't read my blog, but THANK YOU for all you do!
The kids were dying to go outside after being indoors for a few days...
So we were going to take them on a 'puddle hunt' ... and made the mistake of taking them out the back way where THE BEST puddle resided... our neighbors back yard.
Flood what flood... this is AWESOME!
If you can believe it the photos above were taken on Sunday afternoon, Tom and I went out to dinner on Sunday night and when we came back the neighbors yard was flooded almost to the back of their house (twice as bad as it is in these photos), and had flooded over into our yard, oh, and our basement. AWESOME. Thanks neighbors!
Oh, and here is a cute photo of Lily absolutely loving her some salad... just baby greens please!
KEEP GOING!!!! YOU CAN DO IT! You've come a really long way. It will be tough and it will suck at times, but you're closer now than when you started.
ReplyDeleteBummer about the rain. our neighbors had to call out someone to pump out their basement. Our's is still dry knock on wood. Where's Jason's new rain boots????? Puddle stomping RULES!
You can do it!! I know you can! You're right, don't focus on time. Just enjoy the experience. Also, remember that you have won the 'golden ass' award from me that one time by riding your bike along side one of my long runs. If you can endure THAT, well, then this little race should be a breeze!
ReplyDeleteI'll be there cheering you on so you gotta do the race! Besides, would you want to miss seeing 'beautiful' Lake Stevens? Hee hee.
Just one step, lap, pedal at a time and you will make it!
You'll do it, you'll do it, you'll do it! You will. Always have and always will. Didn't you feel this way when you trained for your first marathon? Hang in there!!!
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