Vegan or non-Vegan

As many of you know I spent a few years as a vegan... a raw vegan. And of late have been suffering w/ some 'issues'... fatigue and digestion related. It's kept me from racing for over a year now and I feel better, but I continue to struggle and try to figure it all out. I just stumbled upon Devon Crosby Helms' blog and particularly THIS post. I thought it was a great post and was so happy to hear that someone else had struggled with the mental aspects of changing your diet back from the vegan thing. As I've worked to add protein back into my diet I have stressed about everything that I put in my mouth. I really enjoyed this post and thought some of my other nutritionally minded folks might enjoy her site.

I tend to feel that nutrition is highly individual. While some may really thrive on a vegan diet others may not. I definitely agree w/ Devon's sentiments about the relationship w/ food being destroyed (for me personally) and not really staying in tune w/ your body as a result of stressing so much about what is (or isn't) going into your body. I distinctly remember feeling like I could eat a whole chicken during a vegan diet and ignoring my body's signals. My body was SCREAMING for protein and I ignored it. NOT GOOD!

Anyway.. I certainly don't have the answers... not for you and not entirely for myself, but I'm working on it!

In other news I registered for another sprint triathlon.... in a week and a half!!!! The Pat Griskus Sprint... it's hilly and I am sure the swim will be a challenge (when isn't it for me?) It's in the evening so I couldn't pass it up!

Was just cruising through her blog again and found THIS post that I also enjoyed.

GoSonja!

I have posted links to Sonja's blog before and wanted to share this great post she wrote about Risk and Failure. It has given me much to think about and I thought you guys might enjoy it too! She is a rock star w/ great perspective and a humble attitude!

In the sound again

Survived another open water swim in the Long Island Sound. Thank GOD it wasn't nearly as cold as it was last week. I wasn't really believing Nicole when she told me the water had actually been 'nice' earlier in the week.

As always humbled by the swim, but gained my confidence as the work out went on. After a nice warm up and some aerobic work we did some anaerobic stuff. We all gathered at a buoy then the coach said, "go!" and we were to race to the shore like we were exiting the water in a race... RUN out of the water to the lifeguard bench and do 5 push ups then run back into the water and sprint to the buoy like we were starting a race. We did this 5 times and it was my favorite (near death) part of the swim. (maybe it was bc it wasn't all swimming??). It got my ass in gear and got me fired up to be able to finish out the work out w/ a bit more strength in my stroke. I felt much more confident after that exercise. Maybe I can be a triathlete again. Maybe I can find the fire inside me.

I've been riding more now too and I LOVE the bike!! :) Thank God I met my friend Nicole! It feels good to have a goal and a schedule again. It definitely keeps the crazy in check! I'm the type of person that just has to work out... two work outs a day... even better! :) I'm now doing the P90X and the endurance together and my muscles are feeling it in a good way. Now that mom and dad are here it's going to be easier to be consistent w/ the endurance piece of that puzzle.

It's late and I'm worked over from back, biceps and ab ripper topped off w/ an open water swim. (back weights plus swimming might not be my best approach, but that's how you get stronger right)....

Now to sleep, and let's hope I sleep past 6am tomorrow. Who knew that taking my watch off and not putting it back on would make me get up earlier. I'm not sure what's up, but I can't go back to sleep after my initial wake up anymore. I used to wake up, look at my watch, think I'm not getting up THAT early, and roll over and go back to sleep and wait for the kids to wake me up. Now I wake up, look over, see Jason and Lily laying there, close my eyes, maybe doze a bit, then think, "I have no idea what time it is and if I lay here I might not get just a few moments of quiet w/ my coffee bc it might just be 7:30a and they might must wake up any minute.", then I get up put my contacts in etc and go downstairs to discover that DAMN it it's not quite 6am and I already have my contacts in.. no turning back now. So I just stay up. It IS really nice to have a nice quiet cup of coffee (or two... come on it's EARLY) or get a work out in before it's "GAME ON" time, but sheesh... I used to have to be blasted out of bed!

4 Years OLD!!!

I feel like I should be saying something along the lines of "Oh MY God my babies are 4 years old!!", but I feel like they should be four. Every other years birthday has seemed to sneak up on me w/ thoughts like above, but this year it feels due time for them to turn 4. Was this year longer than others? Not sure why I feel this way. I'm not sure if it was the trials and tribulations of THREE or if it is their level of development, but we are here and it feels about right.





I LOVE this photo of them running w/ the dog.

I really feel like I should have lots of things to say about this milestone, but I just don't. Birthdays have never been huge in my life.. They just are! We had a special breakfast date just the kids and me after some small gifts on their actual birthday, they celebrated at school and we got to do some shopping w/ some cash they received then the day after their birthday Papa and Grandma Mills rolled into town and we went swimming and to a special dinner to celebrate further. All good times. We will have a small party here at the house .. where Tom and I are going to have to pull a princess cake and a tank cake out of the ether. :) So we are definitely celebrating for them, but I'm not feeling deeply moved or emotional about the 4th birthday.

First Open Water Swim ... in a LLLLOOONNNGGG time.

The crew that I swam w/ over the winter is now doing open water swimming down in Fairfield and I've become friends w/ one of the ladies that lives here in Bethel so she and I rolled down to Open Water Swim (OWS) with the Trifitness team. They (er, we) swim in the Long Island sound. A far cry from the weedy fresh water lakes of Wisconsin. Bonus: NO algae... BUT and it's a big BUT.. it's FING cold. At least it was last night.

When I got my wetsuit out I realized I hadn't been in it.. or open water... since August of 2008 when I raced Chicago with Team in Training. UGH!

I was surprised at myself for getting in the water so quickly. It was COLD. I mean freeze your hands/feet/face off cold. I am proud of myself for just swimming in it at all. We were given some things to focus on w/ stroke for our warm up and were told to swim back and forth between two buoys then to come in for more instruction. Most of us would swim a bit and bob a bit. Me bc that's the way I roll the rest bc it was so cold it took your breath away.

We did our warm up then rolled back to the shore for more instruction and were asked who was racing this weekend (trifitness sprint tri this sunday - I can't race bc Tom is out of town and my back up isn't in town till Wednesday). So all of those people were told we were going to do a mock race. I decided to just jump in w/ them. Swimming a half mile in frozen cold water just randomly proved to be a challenge for me, but I got it done and am proud of that. I still need to figure out how to find a groove and just swim w/o breaks. I KNOW I can do it, but I'm mentally challenged for some reason. I stop to get my barrings way to often. I will say that I was a bit dizzy/disoriented through most of it. I'm not sure if it was the open water/tide or the freezing coldness of it all. I haven't ever experienced it at all and was relieved when another woman asked if I was dizzy.

When we got out of the water our feet, hands and faces were bright red and numb. I couldn't even get my wetsuit un-velcroed or my jacket zipped. It took a good 30 mins before I could put my thumb and forefinger together to actually do anything.

All in all I felt like it was a success. I got there, I got in the fing cold water and I did what some people might call swimming! :)

I just registered for a triathlon The Houatonic Valley Tri.. wow been awhile since I did that. I plan to register for more, but haven't pulled the trigger yet. My friend Jill registered for this one and I wanted to be sure that I didn't miss it ... since I may have kind of encouraged her to join me. This will be her first ever and I'm pretty excited for her. The good news, for both of us, is that this race has a really short swim. Only 1/4 mile. I still have work to do and hopefully will be able to swim the whole thing w/o stopping.

This should help on that front:


I just joined the Brookfield YMCA and purchased a summer family pass for the pool. A FIFTY meter outdoor pool. I can swim in the early morning or evening and on the weekends... and there is a playground and picnic area for eating and playing fun for the kids. I think we'll be at the pool a lot considering how much the kids love the water and how hot and humid it gets here.

The kefir is going absolutely gang busters. I'm going to have to freeze some of the grains or just get rid of them b/c I have a gallon of kefir in the fridge right now and another half gallon ready to be strained and stored... it's doing well in the warmth that's for sure.

Here is a jar ready for straining and a jar ready for the fridge...


For those of you that might be curious here is what kefir grains look like.


I'm also made some saurkraut. It's super salty so I'll try a different recipe next time, but other than that it's pretty good. I mix it into stuff so the saltiness is diluted a bit.



And here is where all the magic happens. My fermentation station.


I'm also making kefir water, but don't have any photos of it right now. It's kombucha like for those of you that are familiar with kombucha.

I knew I was forgetting something.... P90X is coming along. Almost done w/ my first 90 days... then it's onto round two.

Fermentation central

So the kefir is kicking ass and taking names. I'm now making it in 1/2 gallon jars and have almost a gallon in the fridge right now. Am working on ways to eat it... goes in salad dressings and popsicles and have made some cheese. Hope Mom and Dad are ready for some kefir! :)

Next up cultured vegetables... aka saurkraut ... the real deal. Here's a good LINK as to how it's done! I'm excited to try this. Word on the street is that it's very beneficial for rebuilding your gut flora and enhancing digestion. Basically just have some w/ every meal.. particularly protein rich meals. I'm going to get this worked out! I'm going to try to get some cabbage tomorrow (if places are open on the holiday)... give me a week and I'll let you know how my home made kraut is! My mom will get a kick out of this since she used to force the stuff - albeit out of a can - on me once a year as a kid. We'll see if mom likes the real deal.

Get ready mom and dad we're fermenting fools up in here... home brew in your place all probiotics in mine! :)

Well that didn't take very long...

I like the weight lifting/plyometrics in P90X and want to continue to weight lift now, but I MISS endurance sports. It's just a different kind of 'burn'.. not the muscle burn the mental and calorie burn. I miss feeling like I used it all up. You endurance junkies know what I mean. I just can't explain it. I love that feeling like I left it all out there and the following empty need to eat feeling.

I went for a random almost 40 mile ride the other day and it felt GREAT! It was hard.. HILLY! I've mentioned that it's hilly here right! This was the first ride w/ a new friend (well and her friend) and this was Nicole's longest ride to date. We rode from Nicole's house over to meet Monica and by the time we were done w/ the main part of the ride (still needed to ride home) Nicole and I were both pretty used up. We had a MASSIVE long hill to ride up to get back to her house or we could add another 5 miles to our ride and still have hills, but not the big MASSIVE long one. We decided when we were initially done w/ the main ride to do the extra five and skip the big climb because frankly we were worried we wouldn't make it all the way up. Well, we got closer to the hill and Nicole said, "you want to add 5 miles or climb for 5 mins?" We had just come off a nice long downhill (you know the kind where you go like 35 miles an hour w/o working at it) and I was feeling pretty good now (uh since I hadn't used my legs for a few minutes) so I said, "Let's climb!" And we did. We got all the way to the top w/o falling over. And were definitely SPENT by the top. It felt AMAZING!

I was really expecting to barely be able to walk the next day. Weekend warrior syndrome. But I felt FINE! FINE!!!! I couldn't believe it. I did take the day off (aside from 2 hours of mowing.. ugh).

There are a lot of sprint races around here so I'm considering just jumping into a few. I'm working myself up to start swimming in the sound once a week w/ the tri group in Fairfield. It's a haul down there, but I'm going to tag along w/ Nicole. It's worth it to have people to swim with.

We've been doing a lot of yard work lately. Our yard is wild and out of control and every time I mow I day dream about truck loads of mulch. I do want to make more beds around the house and around the perimeter of the yard and have started buying plants here and there to fill in these areas. You could plant hundreds of dollars worth of plants in this yard and would barely notice it's so wild and big. Of course we are used to 'urban' yards that are much smaller.

I'm finally getting around to putting a fence around our piddly little veggie garden. I have potatoes and a few plants that Nicole gave me that need to get in the ground NOW! I'll put some seeds in too to see what happens then might get some starts to put in too. All one big experiment.

My kefir water and milk are going gang busters in this warm weather and I'm getting it in the kids in smoothies.. they won't drink it straight up. I'll have plenty to try some cheese recipes soon. Probiotics are GOOD!!!

Hope everyone is having a great start to summer and for all of those racing.. Good luck. It's starting!!! I'll be out there spectating for sure... and maybe jumping in here and there. I'm going up to Lake Placid w/ dad to volunteer for Ironman on July 25th! Can't wait!

Slowly but surely

IF you can see past my silly outfit ... two coats on my waste and inappropriate pants for a trail run I think you'll see that the P90X is starting to work. :) My shoulders have.. GASP.. are those muscles? :D YEAH! Nothing like seeing progress to keep you moving. Only 1.5 weeks left in this month then I'm onto the last month in the first round. Can't wait for round two. THAT'S WHERE THE MONEY IS!

Mothers Day

I will start this post ( or provide a disclaimer ) that I do like being a mom, but damn!

Mother's Day was not the best this year. I started out going to a race that I felt was largely a waste of my time. More on that later. Then came home to kids that didn't really want much to do w/ me and are in a phase where they whine, back talk and fight almost constantly! UGH. Not ideal for me.. on 'my' day. I wasn't really feeling the Mother's Day vibe all week... see above regarding the behavior of my offspring.

Jason is all up in Lily's grill and Lily is wanting some space. BAD BAD BAD combo. I'm thinking they are also still recovering from our trip to Seattle as sleep - or rather going to sleep - has not been going well around these parts.

The race. The Northface Challenge is always well run and the course was great. I got up at ass crack, had some coffee, hoped for the daily you know before race stuff which didn't happen, then made some breakfast and headed out on my 1 hour and 10 minute drive to the race venue. The drive was nice enough. Parked at the designated parking area to be shuttled over. My race started at 9am and the last shuttle left the parking area at 8:15a. I was early... maybe around 7?45a. Then went and stood around in the FREEZING WINDY cold for over an hour. I had originally planned to stash my outer layer w/ the gear check guys, but didn't bring a bag (thought I'd be able to get one??) and didn't want to stand in line w/ everyone else that waited till the last minute to strip off their stuff so I decided to be "that" dork running in a fleece and long (not meant for running trails) boot leg tights over my intended running gear. SAAWWWEEETT! The race photos should be spectacular ... two coats tied around my waste! ha. If there are even any photos of me bc my number was covered on "accident".

I loved loved loved the descents. I figured out how to use my knees and relax my legs and hop down. Great fun. The run overall was well marked. It never did thin out completely (500+ runners), but it opened up enough to run and i was comforted by other people around w/ my tendency to get lost in the woods. My nutrition held up (I know it's just a 10k, but I was worried about my lack of carbs) I think 10k might be my new favorite.. particularly trail.

Moral of the story for this race is I'm only going to do stuff that's 30 mins away for a while.

I got home and the kids basically watched scooby doo mother's day marathon most of the day. I relaxed, made the kids some bracelets, thought about doing laundry and remembered it was Mother's Day and saved it (reminding myself I need to do it today), researched some stuff while watching Scooby (should have napped), Tom cooked a delicious dinner. Then the kids were sassing me and generally just not listening so bad I couldn't take it anymore. Jason was going to get a hair cut, but I took the clippers (which he insisted on opening himself though Tom and I had both asked him not to) and sent him into his bedtime routine. Both kids baulked at this and wouldn't listen and were continuing to back talk so I put them both in their rooms and told them that was it time for bed. Tom and I then stood outside their rooms and kept walking them back to their beds while they screamed and cried in protest! Jason finally gave up and went to bed so I left Tom to finish up w/ Lily.

So HAPPY FING MOTHER'S day mommy. I will get them to submit! I WILL! ha ha

Then there is just crap on TV on Sundays. Must remember to DVR stuff during the week so I have stuff to watch when I really just want to veg and sit in front of the TV.

On a high note.. a friend turned me onto Kefir and it's many benefits. It's also SO easy to make yourself so I have abandoned any thoughts of brewing my own Kombucha and will be making Kefir. I got some starter and made my first batch using coconut water and milk and it's pretty good. I ordered some 'grains' (have no idea why they are called that. they are actually a culture) to be able to make it over and over and over again. I'm pretty excited. I know I'm a dork.

I'm working on doing some more sewing... though I know I should be focused on finishing my priming and painting in the basement. Those of you that know me personally know that I am very easily distracted and prefer to bounce around a couple of projects to avoid boredom.

P90X is still rocking.... about 50 days in now. Can't wait to start my second round as I think that's when people REALLY start to see results.

The Candida Diet thing (basically meat and veg and fermented dairy) is proving slightly difficult to stay on, but I power through. When I crave something 'sweet' I drink herbal tea or have some raw chocolate made w/ cocoa and coconut oil. NO sweetener. The ultimate dark chocolate. Sometimes I'll put some raw almond butter in it to 'sweeten' it a bit.

Here is hoping for a better day today.... though I have a feeling there will be a lot of room time for the kids. Thank God for preschool.

Gotta say.. not LOVING the twin thing at this stage. Four is better, right? RIGHT? Only one more month until their birthday!

Oh, and I'm headed to Madison this weekend for a quick trip! YEAH!!!

The Northface Challenge

This Sunday for Mother's Day I will be running the Northface Challenge 10K!!! I had registered for the half. I was really pained about this now. I ran a half a few weeks ago and it was tough... and it was on the road. I know the NFC is going to be HARD! Off road is hard enough, but the site says it's HILLY and technical. When I registered it sounded all well and good. Aside from the race being challenging for me at this point bc my running has fallen apart I didn't really think much about the time it would take... on MOTHER'S DAY. Over an hour to get there, I'm guessing 2.5 or more hours to run/walk it, then over an hour to get back. So basically all day. As I considered my mother's day this wasn't how I wanted to spend it. I wanted to spend it w/ my family. so w/ those reasons in mind (mostly the time commitment and the potential for suffering) I emailed to see if I could change to the 10k after a prompt from my Sister in Law and I didn't think it would happen, but I got an email today that I'm switched!!! YEAH! This answers all problems. 4 hours away and I'll be back for late lunch / early dinner and some family fun on Mother's day... AFTER getting some quiet me time in the woods. Perfect!

P90X is going great. I'm at it 100% now and not even a week back in and I can feel it already. Things are getting easier. I'm able to lift heavier and can knock out over 10 push ups (real ones) now. (I know not that much, but way better than when I started.) No pull up yet, but I can tell I'm getting stronger. This is yet another reason I didn't want to run the half marathon and thrash my legs. I don't want to have to skip my leg work out or any of the work outs next week b/c I wrecked myself so bad I couldn't do it.

I took some measurements that I will take again in a month.. then each month. I plan to work through the first 90 day series then do it again through the summer and then might see what I can do about a trainer at the gym to spice it up a bit. (Um... maybe a birthday present to me... :D)

And the belly bloating thing... MUCH better. After my trip to Seattle I started thinking that maybe I really do have a problem w/ Candida. I've thought this in the past, but never acted on it bc i didn't feel empowered to do it myself. I did some research and changed my diet DRASTICALLY. Went from all fruits and veggies to NO SUGAR WHATSOEVER... including fruit. And the difference was night and day.. in just a few short days. I do this for a month (I'm 1.5 weeks in) and then I can start adding fruits/carbs back in and see how my body reacts. While I do this I take herbs to kill the yeast overgrowth... then probiotics to rebuild.

The lucky news for me is that this diet goes along w/ Phase 1 of the P90X diet.

Reality Check One, Two, One, Two

So I've been on the endurance train for a while. I took some pit stops here and there and I know I always feel better when I'm on the train, but seriously. Every time I get race photos back I think to myself, (YES THIS IS TOTALLY VEIN) "really I bust my ass and THIS is what I get?" I work out A LOT people. Run run run run and run some more. Now adding swimming and riding (new in the last three years anyway). And while this has certainly helped my pants size (why do people refer to it as dress size.. I mean really, who wears dresses anymore) my 'physique' is still not where I would like it to be.

I mean sure it could be worse, don't get me wrong most days I feel pretty good about the result, but really... it could be better. A lot better.

As most of you know I have been doing some P90X.. now I say some b/c I haven't done the program all out. I've done the weight sessions only and none of the other stuff... b/c well I've been running and riding and swimming. So each session takes under and hour... YES UNDER an hour. I run for at a minimum of 40 mins to an hour... MINIMUM! And my long runs take 1.5 to 2 hours at a minimum.

Anyway... a lot of you have asked... "is it worth it? Does P90X really work?" Well I would definitely say that I am getting stronger... still no pull up unassisted, but it's early. So here's what I'm committing to my dear readers. I will do the program. I'm going to consider myself 30 days in already... even though I didn't do the first 30 days all out. I don't want to start that round all over again b/c I don't want to get bored. I've done that round (half assed) more than once already.

So I'm going to do the program. I'll take photos. I already took my "30 day photos" which, I'm sorry, but I refuse to post until I have something better to look at. Most of you saw the bikini photos on facebook from when I went to Miami. They look about the same. This is where my original "Reality Check, One, Two, One, Two" came from. I took those photos and when I looked at them I immediately wanted to eat a pint of Ben and Jerry's b/c really. I do all this work, I DON'T Eat Ben and Jerry's and I look like THAT! SHIT! SHIT SHIT!!! It's time to do some work! REALLY!

Yes this post is vein. Am I proud of my athletic achievements?? HELLS YES! Am I proud of the way I look in a bikini.. absolutely NOT! So it's time for me to stop whining about it and drowning myself in imaginary ben and jerry's and start building some metabolism boosting muscle.

And just for you my dear readers... starting after my trip to Seattle I will even haul my lazy ass out of bed before the kids get up and get my P90X in so that I still have time during school hours to run ... b/c let's face it... I need it for my mental fortitude really.

PS. Most of you know I have some issues w/ food. (meaning I can't eat like a normal person b/c well my belly rebels!) so I won't be doing their food program, but based on what I've read / heard it's Paleo like.

The Minis

I realize there hasn't been much of an update on the kiddos. :) LOVE LOVE LOVE the iPhone, but it has caused me to basically quit taking photos w/ our 'real' camera. I dusted it off and took a couple of videos and photos... mostly after going through some old blog posts and really enjoying the old videos.

The kids LOVE to ride their bikes. Jason is on his walking bike here b/c we lost a training wheel in the move.. we finally replaced it, but this was taken before that.


They ride up and down the street together.. racing then waiting for each other. it's so cute. They are best buds.

Baseball is another favorite. Jason has great hand eye coordination. He can it a ball.. he can hit a target throwing a ball. It surprises me every time. Here is a typical session w/ Jason and Lily...

What's up at Che Mount?

Lots of things rolling around in the ol' noggin'... Have that caged animal feeling again.. I come and go w/ this. A good work out should help. Hey, wait.. I had two good work outs over the last three days.

I'm feeling like I don't want to register for races for a while. I just want to do ... whatever. I know I need to run, but I don't really feel like it right now. I'd rather ride my bike... and that's all well and good, but I have another half marathon coming up in three weeks. I should run. Really. I also kinda want to focus more on weights, but as I said after the Danbury 1/2 lifting and running and riding 'some' doesn't prepare you well for an endurance event... So that's what I'm thinking today. We'll see how I feel after some time goes by. I will go to spin class tomorrow. I will lift tomorrow. I will ride my bike on Thursday w/ Tom. I will lift on Thursday. I'll run on Friday and Sunday (we'll see if I can cram something in on Saturday before we head out on our trip) and I'll run next week while we're in Seattle...

And I've made a decision about going back to school. I'm not. 1. it's not the right time for me and 2. I'm not even sure that's the direction I want my life to go. I've got nothing but time. :)

I'm starting to feel like some goals are surfacing in my mind. Will work on getting them on paper.

In the mean time I couldn't be more excited about spending some time in the PNW! I miss Seattle SO much.

Danbury Half Marathon

So I kind of forgot this race was coming up. I didn't really look at the map (I guess I don't normally pay too much attention to that.. I like to be surprised) and I had no idea what the elevation would be like. Though I did suspect it would be hilly b/c, well, it's hilly here. Thank God I've been out there running the hills for the last 5 months (OMG have we really been here for 5 months already?).

I was more nervous than expected before the race started. Thankfully I ran into someone I know from swimming and was able to chat w/ her for a bit to take my mind off the race. I usually spend a fair amount of time on visualization ... none for this race. I thought a little bit last night about what I wanted to put into and get out of this race. Did I want to just run it? Did I want to blow myself up and push the pace as hard as I could.. it is a 'race' after all. I never really gave it my usual amount of mental energy so I guess I inadvertently gave it the 'whatever happens happens' mentality.

I seated myself too close to the front. Or at least I've decided that it's better (mentally, for me) to start a bit more toward the middle so that I can pass some people instead of either 1. get passed or 2. try w/ all my might to hang w/ the speedsters only to have my heart feel like it's going to pound out of my chest. I started out fast and knew I was going too fast but decided to just hang in there and see what happened. The first three miles were sub8... needless to say after those first three were over I was OUT for the sub8 run. :) I knew I wouldn't be able to sustain that pace, but hey, it was fun while it lasted. The first half of the race was relatively flat. At one point around mile 6 or so I passed a guy on a hill and he and I chatted a moment then he said to me, "good luck on the hills." I was all, "yeah you too." not really thinking much of it. Thinking it would be more of the same.. uh, nope. The hills weren't brutally steep (okay a couple of them were) they were mostly rollers... long relentless rollers. The good thing about them being relentless is that every time I thought that word I thought of my good friend Mama Marie. (she once called having twins relentless... so now that word ALWAYS makes me think of her. Love you and miss you Mama Marie!) Thinking of Marie helped get me going. We were die hard work out buddies back in the day. SWOON... How I miss that!

As always there were a couple of ladies I kept my eye on to 'hold on for dear life' to my pace. I passed only one of them. I caught up to one and chatted w/ her for a bit, but she went on to finish a bit in front of me.. seconds?? Minutes?? Not sure.

Around mile 8 a guy in FiveFingers passed me like I was standing still. Around mile 6 my knee had started reporting to me that my shoes are coming to the end of their long run usability and I thought for a moment that maybe I should start easing into the FiveFingers to see how that goes. I am going to hit the running store while in Seattle (as we don't have one anywhere around here) to get some new shoes. I'm excited to have someone watch me run and fit me for some shoes. I've been running in the same style of Asics since I first really got into running back in 1998.. Holy crap.. TWELVE YEARS I've been running. Off and on of course until I had kids. My stride has changed immensely over the last training season (aka winter) so I think it's time to reevaluate some things. I'm still having some trouble w my poor sore toes.

The last half of the race was hard... it went by at a relative pace... I didn't want to die or anything... I'm proud to say that though I considered it a couple of times I DID NOT walk ANY of the hills. I put my head down and ran (okay plodded) up EVERY SINGLE one!

I'm happy w/ my time considering the hills, the fact that I've mostly been lifting and riding and my runs have been subpar. Can't say that AT THIS MOMENT I'm real excited about running another race in 3 weeks... ON TRAILS, but I'm sure I'll feel more excited about it, uh, soon. Northface Challenge here I come!

Now I'm wiped out and could really use a nap, but all you moms know that's just not in the cards. Five more hours until I can go to bed! :D

Still thinking about those goals... tried to go there during the run. Runs are usually good for that stuff, but I feel like there is a PHYSICAL block there not letting my mind think about such things!! Weird! So I plod along in life and take it day by day...

What Race and 3 year brainstorming

So TOMORROW is the Danbury Half Marathon. I feel like it's not even on my radar. So unprepared fro this... just going to run it for fun. I haven't really 'trained' for it per se. I know I can complete it. I was going to go run for 4 miles today, but we had such fun as a family and I didn't want to step away from it knowing I would be gone for 3 hours in the middle of the day tomorrow. I did a little Core Synergistics from P90X and got a sweat on so I called it good.

I really want to focus on my core and get stronger in that department. Which means I must start doing the core work outs huh? :) This week was a good week. Did some P90X Ab Ripper, Core Synergistics and some stuff off YouTube just to mix it up. (the name suggested that I would get a 6 pack if I did it regularly... :D ) So this week I hit my goal of three times a week.

I'm VERY excited to find out that a new friend is into weight training and works out in the early morning. AND she just joined my gym!!!! I so could use some motivation and support from someone that's into weight training. I've seen so many women working the weights at this gym... way more than my last gym. And they look GOOD. Strong, lean women. I love it, but I haven't yet met any of them yet. They get in there and do their workouts before I'm even done slugging it out on the treadmill. AND they look way better than me. HMMM. Who knows what they might be doing outside of the time that I see them, but it's starting to look like I could work out WAY LESS in a DIFFERENT way and get BETTER results. Regardless of the fact that I'm a total endurance junky and need my fix... but it's looking like perhaps I wouldn't have to add THAT much time to my work out allotment for the day/week and I would get good results. So the weight training continues via P90X and hopefully will get kicked up a notch w/ my new buddy. I'm lifting as heavy as I can for now to see what kind of results I can get.. okay so maybe not as heavy as I can for I am limited by the weights I have at home, but heavier than I ever have (in my intermittent past weight training programs). Maybe I'll get crazy and take some photos of myself in a bikini to post LATER w/ my AFTER photos!

In my obsessive blog surfing I found Goals for the Week, and particularly THIS post. As most of you know I really love the new year... looking forward at a blank slate that I can mold to my (well mostly my) liking. Dreaming of all the things I want to do. I was excited to see her process and decided to give it a whirl myself. Fancy new sparkle pen (Lily's new obsession) to make it fun and a blank page. Now 3 year goals. SHIT! I couldn't really come up with anything that I felt was all that exciting or inspiring. HUH? What? Same old stuff getting written down. I decided to walk away from it for a bit. I reread her post and then noticed the word brainstorming and decided that might be a better approach for me than the list. Here is how far I got. "Jason and Lily will turn (GASP) seven and will be in first grade." Stumped. That's it. That's all I wrote.... comes to mind.. the same old same old... be organized, STOP being bloated, move back to the PNW, have a six pack, be able to do proper pull ups and more push ups (I'm up to 10 REAL push ups right now.. thank you very much. I suppose the P90X is starting show dividends.)... and there you have it (okay... Ironman may have been on that list)... that's all I could come up with. I feel like a goal setting loser and failure. I know that is not the point.

I won't give up. I will keep coming back to it until I have something more interesting for myself.....

We are now in the ONE WEEK count down to our trip to Seattle!!!! YEAH!

Bloated...

and SO sick of it! I know I know. Where is the positivity I promised. It's coming. I PROMISE! But in the mean time... I look like I'm 20 weeks pregnant on a good day and by the end of the day it's more like 30! SERIOUSLY! This is so NOT cool!!! I work my ASS off and this is what I get. UGH!

And before you start to give me advice (not that I mind it b/c I don't) I eat a shit ton of fiber and drink buckets of water... and nothing wants to come out the other end. WHY!

I'm sorry. I know this is a lot of info to put out into the ether for the world to see, but I'm just so damn sick of it! It doesn't seem to be diet related b/c I have had this problem for a long time. I was trying to remember the first time it was a really bad problem and the first time that comes to mind it was 2002 I think. I had recently gotten off the pill and I remember standing in the dining room complaining to Tom about it. I only mention the BC thing b/c it helps w/ the time frame and because I suspect this is hormone related. Back then I was basically an eat anything girl... still 'healthy' in my eyes at the time, but wheat (processed / packaged stuff), dairy, meat.. scones (MMM scones.. I miss you) and coffee. And now... well it's the opposite. The only thing from that list that is still on the menu is coffee. :) AND YET ... still have a problem. Can you imagine the amount of fiber that goes in my mouth. FRUITS AND VEGGIES>>>> all day!

Anyway. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this. I guess advice is always welcome. Anyone know if it's okay to drink Smooth Move Tea EVERY FREAKIN day!? Probably not a great idea, but oh how much better I would feel.

I've considered calling the doc, but I know he's just going to want to put a camera where I don't really want a camera. I know this isn't normal.. but what can he do???

Okay... got that off my chest........... I guess I shared it bc I feel it's a huge contributor to my stagnate exercise program..

Yea.. what about that.. I run almost every day too.. and STILL NOTHING! GRR!

Baby Girl

My baby girl is on the web. My dad just called to tell me that Lily was on the Schwinn website. I knew this photo was in print, but didn't know they had it online!

She's FAMOUS! HA HA Check it out HERE.

No time to update right now. Just wanted to share. :D

6.7 miles of hills

My run today was another tough one. I'm really pushing the pace for some reason. It's really strange... it's like my natural turn over/cadence is higher than my heart can keep up w/ now. Thanks speed training. I feel myself just suffering and get frustrated with myself for not being able to have a good strong run then I look down at my Garmin and I'm running sub8s. SERIOUSLY!? What's the matter w/ you SLOW down. So I slow down... only to find myself suffering at sub8 again.

I know I shouldn't be complaining. I worked hard to get some speed, but then I try to run up a hill and implode. My heart rate is already sky rocketing (side note: I finally found my heart rate strap - right where it was supposed to be - not sure how I missed it. So I will be wearing that more to keep tabs on what's up) and then I try to run up an MFer of a hill and just... can't... hold... on. FRUSTRATED.

Hmm.. this here blog is like therapy. Looks like I am doing this to myself. I set out today hoping to have a nice easy 8 mile run and ended up w/ an A$$ kicking 6.7 mile run. I never did find my groove... b/c my heart felt like it was going to explode. Well.. no wonder. I was running sub8s. I'm not sure who or what I'm racing against. I would be lying if I didn't say I didn't want to start posting slower runs ... but damn. I'm entitled to some slow ones right? Ha

I do want to start riding my bike more, but I've gone and registered for a bunch of running races. How much will cycling translate to running. Enough I'm sure. Jesus.. what am I doing to myself. I can CAN go out and run for fun.

I have a half marathon this weekend that I don't feel prepared for. I kinda forgot about it and then was writing out my calendar for April and realized.. oh it's April. I have a race. Then next month another half.. a trail run so I'm just going to go enjoy it... walk the hills if I need to. My limited trail running experience tells me my heart rate will really jack up on trails... so no worries. See some scenery enjoy the C02 from the trees. Enjoy the QUIET!

June brings a sprint tri (I think.. I got in late through a friend and am assuming I'm in... ) and a relay.

I'm still toying w/ the idea of doing a 70.3... I think I could pull it off, but better get my butt on my bike. Which I want to do anyway!

Ramble much?

I want to start posting more regularly, but wanted to be in a more positive place. The more I think about it the more I think it's actually just as beneficial to put the negative out there too. (obviously for me) As I've mentioned more than once it's hard to read all the info that makes it seem like everyone has a 'perfect' life (in many different areas). While I might seem to be some sort of rock star in other people's eyes (though this is hard for me to believe or imagine) it's good for everyone to see that I suffer too.. I have slumps (sometimes long ones) and it's okay if/when they do too. You just have to keep getting on the horse until the kinks get worked out!

I've been discovering lots of cool new blogs and it inspires me to keep this one chugging along. I want to change the name of it... or perhaps I need to start another one and get back to some family blogging. I know some of you would really rather see photos of the kids and hear more about what they are doing and less about how my work outs are going.

Mojo: FOUND

Had a good run today and am working on digging my fingernails deep into my mojo and am hanging on for dear life!!!!

Part of my problem w/ the mojo has been that my digestion is just WRECKED lately. Think horribly bloated ALL THE DAMN time.. I look like I'm about 5 months pregnant by the end of the day.. it's just ridiculous! I've suffered w/ this for a LLLLOOONNNGGG time and it comes and goes in severity. I'm - once again - working to try to eliminate (no pun intended) this problem. It's very frustrating and hard to run w/o discomfort.

Today it wasn't as uncomfortable as other days and I was able to take my mind off of it and onto better things... I think the sun shine helped a lot.

Okay... off to do P90X before I go pick up the kids and rock the yard!

Where oh where is my mojo?

I had such great mojo w/ that winter marathon training (thank God or I never would have gotten through solo winter marathon training)... now it's like pulling teeth to get me to put on my running shoes and head out. My runs have been subpar lately and it makes me less than excited to get out there... I know I just need to get back in the groove and it will all fall together.

Good thing I've got a half marathon NEXT WEEKEND!! UGH! That sure crept up on me. I'm sure it will be fine... no PR, but fine. Trying to get my butt to the gym right now to get a run in. Weather is craptastic here this week and, well, the kid thing. :)

Looking forward to our trip to Seattle in a few weeks... at least I'll get to run w/ some friends! :D