damn vaccines!

So we were in a nice little routine (I hesitate to use the word schedule) and those stupid vaccines ruined it.. why? Why did I do that? Yesterday was okay... Jason was super drowsy, but would wake just fine to eat.. he had two rounds of tylenol.. one when he got the shots and one when he ran a fever. Lily only got the dose when she got the shots and seemed to be in okay spirits.. just a bit out of it. So they both slept fine yesterday, but last night was a totally different story! I was up every hour last night w/ one baby or another.. okay I didn't see the 1am hour, but I saw every other one.. whether it was b/c the baby was hungry, gassy or just generally didn't feel well. Damn vaccines! I was told the Rotovirus vaccine can cause intestinal upset for up to 4 or 5 days. I feel just awful. As I sat in the rocker last night night I thought of all the horrible things coursing through my poor babies' systems... I tried to remind myself that as they coursed through thier little bodies were creating immunities against them.. but damn do I feel bad.

This a.m. they were both screaming as if they were in pain (yes, at the same time and yes I was by myself) It just broke my heart. Normally if they cry I feed them and it stops, but nothing worked so I gave them more tylenol. UGH! Lily finally passed out and I was able to calm Jason by nursing him off to sleep.

They are both just exhausted this a.m... as am I. I hope this runs it's course quickly. I feel horrible!

This motherhood thing.. you just can't win!

I was thinking the other day about how Lily screams and how everything that a child does "wrong" or that appears to be wrong w/ them ... even if it's just their disposition... is blamed on the mother. "Oh, she should feed that baby more." "Oh, she's obviously spoiling that child" "Oh, that child needs some discipline, his/her mother is just too lenient"

What the hell people!!!! And it's especially coming from other women.. what's the matter w/ us!? Did it ever occur to people that 1) that woman is doing the best she can (in most cases) and 2) some people are just cranky/rebellious.. so forth and so on!

Okay... off to pump (Tom and I are going out on our own for the first time while mom and dad watch the babies and I want to have milk in case we are longer than we hope to be).. and read my sleep book. Trying to figure out how the hell I'm supposed to rock two babies off to sleep for thier naps.. ugh this shit is HARD!

Kudos to all you moms out there.. and double kudos to those of you that do this more than once! At this point I just can't imagine!