So looking through my blog archives for something and noticed something. Two posts... almost identically named:
- 2010 wasn't exactly epic
- Was 2011 Awesome?
Two things.
1. I set myself up for epic failure each year by laying out crazy stupid expectations on myself. Either that or I'm just too hard on myself expecting PERFECTION on each thing I laid out. Yes that is probably it!
2. EVERY year at this time of year I pretty much SUCK! I should just accept that. I should just slow down a bit and be cool with it. Right?
Geez what a debbie downer I am .. it's the holidays girlie... LIGHTEN UP ALREADY!!!
So I'm going to label 2012 the year of craptastic! Should keep the expectations in check, no?
I jest. I won't call it that. I will still expect it to be epic and for me to figure ALL THE WORLDS problems out all by my little ol' self.... but perhaps I'll try to not be so hard on myself when maybe I don't have it ALL figured out! Or I'll just focus on the good of the year. I tried this year! I did deem 2011 awesome... after pointing out all the ways that it was not quite awesome.
My dad made a comment the other day (he wasn't specifically referring to me.... or was he?)
"Man you know how to find the black cloud around every silver lining."
Great!
So as you can see I'm in my sweet December month of suckitude (referring to my attitude).... but awareness is the first part of a solution right?
As always... just keepin' it real. It ain't all sunshine and roses up in here!
You may now return to your regularly scheduled Christmas, er holiday, jingles and merry making. I'm going to go see if I can get my head out of my ass so I can enjoy it all too!
Maybe it's my looming birthday? nah... I don't care about age. most days.
As RIcardo Montalban would say at the start of Fantasy Island:
ReplyDeleteSmiles Everyone, Smiles.
Did I know that you had a December b-day? I am celebrating mine in 6 days so we can cling fake egg-nog cups from across the country on your b-day now!!!!!
Hugs...
ReplyDeleteYou know, it's funny because this time of year should be so enjoyable and I find it to be one of the hardest... I'm wrapping up a year of work, my workouts suck, I gain weight, I just want to eat and drink, I get annoyed at stupid people. It's like, I'm a total Bah-Humbug.
I know that things haven't been easy for you lately and I hope they get better soon! :)
Jason.. happy almost birthday!!! I was born on Xmas. Maybe I'm just bitter about that!? ha :D
ReplyDeleteYou totally just made me laugh, just because I know where you're at. I'm so often there. I set my expectations high, get my hopes up, only to be let down. And I do it all of the time. Argh. Never fun. And the holidays? Talk about stress. Geez. Should I even admit that I'm trying to figure a way out of my huge family gathering? Sounds horrible, I know. It all just screams anxiety at me. You obviously see all of my "be positive" quotes on Pinterest. There's a reason for those. So often I need a friendly reminder, or to be knocked over the head, to see the bright side of everything. Hang in there. Know you're not alone. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI am so with you!!!! After my craptastic 13 months or so, I was hoping for an upswing, and it didn't happen. Trying to keep finding the silver lining!!!! Love ya, Girl!
ReplyDeleteKier... we had some good times this year. Shoudln't discount that ... but I hear ya!!! Let's keep scratching to find that silver lining .... even if it kills us! Love ya!
ReplyDeleteHey there black cloud :-) I think it is ok to be down every now and then. It will come back around.
ReplyDeleteIf you are gonna be a black cloud, be a black cloud like Winnie the Pooh!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NitBpJaom5k
I hear you on the past year being a tough one, and silver linings can sometimes look tarnished, but there's always another day and the hope/promise that it will be better than the last :)
Or to put it in the words of Counting Crows, "it's a long December, but there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last" :)
And if all that fails, know that there are so many of us who think you are a badass and that there isn't a funk or a time that you won't crush :)
I think we all stick our heads up our asses annually. It keeps us humble. :) Now go wash your face. You have ass all over it. XXOO
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Well, at least you can be the best black cloud in December there is! Shoot for the best! :) Next year is going to be epic for sure!!!
ReplyDeletei"m guessing it will only be that way if I CHOOSE to SEE it that way.. no? :D
ReplyDelete