ENFJ - Extraverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging
(Extraverted Feeling with Introverted Intuition)
An expert from a personality typing program:
The main driver to the ENFJ personality is Extraverted Feeling, whose purpose is above all to find and discriminate the values in people and human situations. If their ability to find a specific and worthy value in a person or situation is threatened, the ENFJ shuts out the threatening force. This is totally natural, but unfortunately the individual who exercises this type of agenda protection regularly will become more and more rigid in their judgements and expectations of people, but even less concerned with the effect such conditions have upon themselves. Petulance, pensiveness and a sense of being let down by others can often be the end result of this one sided approach to the world.
I feel almost – vindicated… justified.. as if I’ve identified a side of myself as being real and rational. I always thought I was crazy/selfish/whiney for feeling this way, for feeling totally let down by my friends. Feeling like I put so much forth – so much consideration for their feelings – and get little to none in return. I have been feeling this way so much lately in regard to this whole infertility thing. Should the circumstances be switched I would give my friends that respect of trying to curb my conversations about my own pregnancy while I was around them. For a while I felt that I got the courtesy from Julie, but not Karen, but as Julie’s pregnancy progresses and I guess as we spent time talking about my difficulties she has started to talk more and more about her pregnancy and it’s hard for me. It’s not that I don’t care – it just hurts for me to hear these things. So, instead of expecting people (note: expectations of people) to modify their behaviour I had decided to take the month of January off of seeing Karen and Julie and/or discussing pregnancy with anyone. (notice: shuts out the threatening force) It was really hard for me when we spent most of MY birthday celebration talking about Karen’s pregnancy – and EVERYONE that she knows is pregnant’s pregnancy (almost her entire peps group is pregnant again – isn’t that great – yea, it’s just super fantastic) and Julie’s pregnancy. (note: being let down by others )(I’m trying really hard not to be bitter) It was feeling great – now this whole business of figuring things out for Jennie’s wedding has forced me to look at it again – do I want to stay in a house full of babies?? I need to decide now…not in February. Should I be positive and upbeat and say “sure we can stay there b/c I will certainly be pregnant BY THEN.” Or should I be safe and say “maybe it would be a bad idea since that date correlates pretty closely with the time that Tom and I will be re-evaluating our plans for whether or not to continue trying to have kids and I could already be pretty emotional”?
I guess I feel less like a whiney baby now – it’s part of who I am to react this way. I guess now it’s time to realize this – look it in the face – and handle it better! BLAH! Maybe I liked being a whiney baby better. Another thing that ENFJ’s do is hold on to their values and decisions and use things like this to justify them.