“Without realizing it, I came to know that we are all really alone, whether we are “with” a partner or not. People change, people die, people break their promises, and people leave. It is our expectations that people will always do what they say, be where they’ve promised to be, or love us the way we envision. It’s not always the case that life stays this tidy. In one way this seems so sad, so hopeless, so uncertain. But in another way, it’s liberating, it’s true, and it can bring us closer to others. Why? For one, we can let go of the struggle we face in trying to make it not so. And secondly, because we are all in the same position - every single person out there is vulnerable to these life changes.”
Above is an excerpt from an email I received from a friend of mine that is currently spending a month in Italy. I am including it here because it really hit the nail on the head for me! I am feeling so incredibly alone lately – I seem to go through this from time to time. Maybe my expectations are too high.. maybe I hope/think that people are going to be more concerned with my well being than they really are? Am I a high maintenance friend? Perhaps. Do I isolate myself inadvertently? Perhaps.
Feeling this way makes me want to just give up.. go inside and take what I get out of my friendships when it comes. I know that this is not the right reaction.. it makes me feel like shit, but it’s the easiest reaction for me to deal with and it is my knee jerk reaction. I sound like a whiney brat!!!! UGH! I just feel lost and alone and I suppose it’s easier to point fingers at others for not being there for me - not being supportive - than it is for me to look inward and figure out why I feel this way.
As stated in my friends email above – in reality we are alone.. we are separated from others by our beliefs, goals, expectations, emotions, so forth and so on. There will always be a separation – ALWAYS!