|Just about to cross the Key Bridge to the big finish.|
I have tried numerous times to sit down and really get out what all of this meant to me. It was such a huge thing... in ways I least expected. There is a lot.. layers.. levels.. emotions. It may take me a few stabs to really lay it all out there and what it meant for me and means for me going forward.
It was - and IS - about the Ulman Cancer Fund and FIGHTING the good fight, but really it was so much more than that in my little world.
|Finishing up our first leg and running it in together. Brock, LJ and me.|
Those of you that have been reading my blog for a long time know that I get caught up in my head and that I have been on a quest for MORE and have always felt like the wheels were spinning, but I couldn't really get to the place where I was happy and fulfilled.
The run seems to have opened me up to the idea that I CAN be happy! It doesn't need to be complex. It's not something I will find in a book! It gave me the confidence to make it happen. To know that it's going to be hard, but so worth it in the long run. To know that I am worth it... that I don't have to settle for a mediocre life... my life can be amazing... I can see and do all the things my heart desires. With JOY in my heart.
I am processing things that I NEED to be happy.. to live my most amazing and fulfilled life.
This is my first stab at really getting this list down on paper for me to look at and remember and focus on.
Since my return I have found myself having more meaningful conversations with people. I've been more open minded to wonderful things happening (and they ARE happening). I've been more positive and dare I say more calm. Not in the direct sense of the word, but as a state of mind. I used to spend a lot of time freaking out about needing to FIND MY PURPOSE... and now I am more able to just be and trust that my purpose will find me.. as I go through life, try new things and find the joy!
There will be more to come as this is an enormous thing for me to process.
What are your top things that make you happy? Do you even know what they are. Thinking and thinking and thinking about it didn't bring them to light for me.. ya know what brought them to light for me??? DOING THEM!
Get out there.. live your dream, your passion, let your light shine!!!