Sunday, December 12, 2010
Today I struggled through a 14 mile run. I'm supposed to be entering true marathon training. Thank God I'm base building right now and not working on speed yet. I've been sick (as I know I've mentioned). It's been hanging around for weeks. I noticed while looking at my training log that I was mentioning feeling 'something coming on' over a MONTH ago. Seriously! Then the family got sick while I was still fighting the bug. It came to head and I really felt like garbage and now it's lingering. I'll start to feel like maybe I'm getting my groove back and then I feel crappy again. My energy is 'okay'... mentally I'm shot! This is not boding well for my attempt at a BQ. I know I've got some time, but time is going by quickly. I'm almost 2 months away from race day. I'm going to have to start doing tempo work and I'm worried that I'm not going to be able to bring my A game. Shit I feel like the best I've got right now is my C game. I'm running slower now than I've run in years.
I'm trying really hard not to freak out!
Not only am I feeling weak in my training efforts my normal daily tasks/routine has me feeling overwhelmed. I still feel like I'm just peeking out of the rabbit hole... not quite coming out. I feel socially stunted. This is not like me. I'm a social person, but I'm struggling just to reach out to people in ways that I used to do easily.
None of this is causing us to have a joyful holiday. It's all just like regular day... or not even as good as a regular day. These things happen right. I'm so ready for a break. A day where I can sleep in (which I'll probably never do.. I'm not a good sleeper inner) then just laze around and not worry about the state of my house, the growing laundry pile, the xmas stuff that is looming, what to do w/ the kids during the cold rainy days.... blah blah blah... I'm whining. I know I've got it good. I have a roof over my head, we have expendable income to pursue things we enjoy (ie marathons/triathlons), my kids are fairly good... NORMAL 4 year olds, my husband is loving and understanding. I know I should just be happy to have all these things....
Okay I'm really sounding pathetic now. Just wanted all my bloggy friends to know I'm still here. I'm still checking in on you... I'm just feeling lazy and slow and like a hermit. It will all come together again and I'll be 'normal'... RIGHT!
And I want everyone to know it's not all sunshine and roses, speedy runs and great recovery. We all have our slumps. I'm right smack dab in the middle of one... I'll see you on the other side!
PS. I couldn't really handle anymore echinachea or Vit C.. just so you know I'm hitting all the usuals to try to get the funk out! Maybe I should just start drinking heavily. Surely this funk couldn't exist in that environment right? :D