I had a parenting milestone yesterday. I was ranting on about something (it was long day) and Jason - albiet quietly said "shut up". I had to ask him to repeat it because I wasn't sure if that was actually what he said. Shut up... he told me to shut up. I wasn't angry w/ him at all. In fact it made me want to cry and gave me pause over my current rant and behavior. As I thought for a moment about the way I was acting I totally deserved his words. Lily was in a time out at the time and I stopped and went and sat by her and Jason came over and we talked.
I know that Jason learned shut up from me.. and maybe my mom too. Hey, the kid is a HUGE whiner! The only time I remember saying shut up was in a rage when they were being so loud, not listening to me and making me feel like my head was going to explode. Not that it's appropriate to say shut up to a two year old.
Anyway. I know they are listening and repeating and it's been kinda cute until now. I - AGAIN - saw flashes of me on Super Nanny. Flashes of him being a complete and total brat (he and his sister) and me battling them saying things like Shut Up all the time, and me having no idea why they are so bratty.
So FIRST I must revise/work on my approach and behavior when I'm angry. I must filter what I say and consider the fact that eventually it will all come back to me.
UGH! Parenting is kicking my ass lately.
Parenting is kicking my ass recently too : ) I am with you. Doesn't it stink when it comes back to you? I know it does for me. I loved that you said "flashes of me on Super Nanny." I had to laugh b/c I too have visions of being put on that show! Maybe every parent does. But as long as we learn and adjust-- right? I hope the rest of the day is a much better one- no more Super Nanny moments! : )
ReplyDeleteThat's such a hard thing. It's good that you realize it though and are working to change your approach. Parenting can really try your patience. Give yourself a little grace and just try to improve for next time.
ReplyDeleteI'm always here for you if you need advice on how to handle a situation or how to prevent some. Not that I know ANYTHING about parenting three year olds, but the philosophies we use in school carry over to all ages.
I'm also here for you if you just want to rant, scream and tear your hair out, as well!
Hang in there! You're doing a GREAT job. You totally amaze me, by the way! :)
Amaze you? REALLY!? Why?
ReplyDelete...Because you are amazing! I have NO idea how you do it with two toddlers, a husband who travels, and hobbies that are about as time consuming as it gets (parenting and triathlon!) I read your blog for inspiration. I strive to feed Alex homemade, natural foods like L & J love, I try to be creative and thoughtful with our playtimes like you are with your kids, and I try to be a strong and healthy mom and triathlete like you. It's really hard to do! You aren't just a great role model for L & J...you are for a lot of moms too!
ReplyDeleteOh Geez! Thanks. I needed that when I'm feeling a little less than amazing! ha I could be a bit more creative and thoughtful w/ our playtimes for sure, but I try. ha
ReplyDeleteDitto what she said! LOL
ReplyDeleteWhat makes you a great mom is the fact that you recognize a lesson! We all say and do things as parents that we wish we didn't; no one is perfect. The best thing though is when we can learn from our mistakes and try to do differently in the future. Believe me we have all had that supernanny moment and it ain't pretty! I admire you for putting it all out there for everyone to see and know. That takes courage too! Don't worry - you will do fine and J&L will grow up happy and well-adjusted! :-)
ReplyDeleteha.. just want to properly represent parenthood. :) ha h ah ah ahahahahahaha is it beer thirty yet? Just kidding... I will be hitting the treadmill in a bit though... not much else to do when it's FOUR freakin' degrees out... not including wind chill. Okay... I won't complain, I won't complain, I won't complain.
ReplyDelete:D
Don't feel too bad. We've all been there as parents at some point.
ReplyDeleteI think it's part of child development to say things they hear their parents say...even the somewhat inappropriate things.
I always try to remind myself that it's an opportunity for me to be the kind of person and parent I want to be. :)