I had a parenting milestone yesterday. I was ranting on about something (it was long day) and Jason - albiet quietly said "shut up". I had to ask him to repeat it because I wasn't sure if that was actually what he said. Shut up... he told me to shut up. I wasn't angry w/ him at all. In fact it made me want to cry and gave me pause over my current rant and behavior. As I thought for a moment about the way I was acting I totally deserved his words. Lily was in a time out at the time and I stopped and went and sat by her and Jason came over and we talked.
I know that Jason learned shut up from me.. and maybe my mom too. Hey, the kid is a HUGE whiner! The only time I remember saying shut up was in a rage when they were being so loud, not listening to me and making me feel like my head was going to explode. Not that it's appropriate to say shut up to a two year old.
Anyway. I know they are listening and repeating and it's been kinda cute until now. I - AGAIN - saw flashes of me on Super Nanny. Flashes of him being a complete and total brat (he and his sister) and me battling them saying things like Shut Up all the time, and me having no idea why they are so bratty.
So FIRST I must revise/work on my approach and behavior when I'm angry. I must filter what I say and consider the fact that eventually it will all come back to me.
UGH! Parenting is kicking my ass lately.