Feel the love!!

I don't know what happened, but for some reason I stopped getting notice of new comments on the blog. I just logged in to post something and saw that I had 57 comments that needed moderated. I really thought NO ONE was reading this thing anymore. Wow! I was wrong. I want to send a shout out (and apology) to everyone that has been commenting in the last month. I'm sorry that I didn't respond to everyone's great comments... particularly on my not so uplifting blog posts! I was in a slump and WOW you guys stepped up to offer support and encouragement and I totally missed it! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!! And KEEP IT coming.

Don't worry... I'm not deleting anyone's blogs (Sonja and Kelly)!! :D I love your blogs. You guys push me to be a better athlete and I love that!

Things on the athletic front are up and going up. I just registered for a local 1/2 marathon that I had forgotten was out there. I had the race bug and was thinking.. hmm I need to find something in April and I met a guy in Spin class today and he mentioned the Danbury 1/2! Oh how things happen. I'm trying REALLY hard to practice the 'law of attraction'... I get what I put out there! All things are possible! I have everything I need to accomplish my goals RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW! And then BAM. I put it out there and not 24 hours later it's given to me! AWESOMENESS!!

Swimming seems to really be coming together... I still can't get to the end of the lane w/ less than about 19 strokes (frustrating), but I feel like I'm getting stronger, my stroke is getting better and I'm feeling more confident... and that's a lot. I am looking forward to swim work outs and that's saying even more!

I feel like I'm starting to connect with more people (even if a lot of them aren't in my same geographic area) and that is helping to give me more spunk and confidence as well. Thanks for the GRRRR Sonja! :D I used it in spin class today!

P90X is back on the schedule. I did legs and back yesterday I'm feeling it today.. in a good way. Spin was a struggle for the legs, but my mind was able to overpower the pain! I'm also trying to concentrate more on my core in all things I do. I know I have a weak core and when I am consistent in working on it I definitely feel it - in a good way - in all athletic endeavors.

Thanks again ladies. It means so much to me. I enjoyed reading each and EVERY comment I received!!!!

Mama's back!

Okay so I realize my last post was pretty, uh, negative.

Let's leave that behind. The negativity!

I had a pretty nice slump there after Miami.. Post race blues hit HARD! Post race, post girls weekend, return to the cold and single parenting all in one day does not do well for me!!

I'm happy to report.. I'M OVER IT! I got back on track w/ my diet I pushed through the slump and I'm ready to get at it again!

I'm spinning, swimming and running and day dreaming about when I can take the biking outside. I'm working on finding some friends both local and around New England to ride with. I just met Mandy and found out she is training for a marathon (or two) AND Timberman. She lives in Maine and I hope I can join her for some rides this summer. Check out the local scenery.

I also met another woman that lives in New York (upstate) and she's going to join me for the NorthFace Challenge. She is training for Lake Placid - her first IM and I hope to make it to Ithaca to ride w/ her as well.

It feels good to be back and to be connecting w/ others. This weekend I'm going to a water running clinic w/ the local tri club... connections connections connections.. priming the pump for spring. I know it will come!!!!

Okay off for an adventure to the children's museum with some mom friends!!!

Fing Blogs!

Why do I read so many people's blogs. I really just need to stop the insanity. Seriously. Sometimes I feel all uplifted and I really do like to look into other people's lives - trying to escape mine, voyeuristic?? Who knows?

For the most part they just piss me off. There are the athletic mom type blogs where these women are seemingly kicking ass and taking names in whatever their chosen sport is all while balancing motherhood and sometimes full time jobs with the greatest of ease. They chat about how they ran 7 minute miles in their last long run and won their age group in LIKE EVERY RACE they have done!!!! Their kids are great and their abs are ripped and they have the photos and finish times to prove it.

Then their are the blogs (moms again) w/ beautiful photography of fabulous craft projects they do WITH THEIR KIDS and everyone loves each other, it's all grand and no one yells and the kids go to bed when they are told to go to bed. They all eat yummy home cooked organic food that their kids devour with out complaint. You know the ones...


HRMPH!! Do you think they are REAL? Do you think that life is as it is depicted. I mean yea, the people are real and their lives are real they are blogging about THEIR reality, but do you think my perception is correct?

Where are the screaming banshies that bounce off the walls, complain about EVERYTHING you put in front of them be it food or activities. They want you to play with them, but then when you finally do decide to give it a shot hoping it doesn't bore you into an early grave they tell you YOU AREN'T DOING IT RIGHT! Well shit if I'm going to be bored to an early death AND I can't do it right screw it.. play with your brother/sister. Where are the balls of dog hair finding homes and creating colonies in every corner. Where are the dirty dishes in the sink, the never ending piles of laundry in some state of done and not done, the pajamas that I'm pretty sure I've had on for three days in a row, the cups of coffee, the tv shows while I pretend I care or catch a nap, the clutter that seems to always be here despite my efforts to dispell it?

Where is the piss poor attitude and thinking... uh, I WANTED this? Where's the reality folks... you are making the rest of us feel like shit!

Perhaps I just am not that zen? Perhaps?? You think? I wish oh, wish I could be those ladies. I'm okay in my speed and I'm happy w/ that.. but these ladies are out their racing a ton. I could not keep up with that.... I've tried and not even at their pace. Guess I should just accept that. We are all different, eh? I wish I could sit down and ENJOY doing crafts with my kids, enjoy just playing silly kid games. Eat them up and love every second to include the many tantrums, loud LOUD noises and messes. I need a chill pill.. hmm HAPPY pill? Little "purple" pill.. or is it little "blue" pill. I can't remember..... What I really need is SOME FREAKIN' WARMTH!!! A nice warm day where we can go play and climb and run and scream OUT SIDE!!!! ALL DAY! A park to WALK to would be GREAT! I miss Madison!

Okay... I just had to get that out of my head. Now I'm off to delete almost EVERY ONE of my RSS feeds so I can stop pretending I'm fast, clean, creative or really fit to be a parent! ha ha I'll be buried under a pile of laundry, drinking a cup of coffee in my three day old jammies if you need me. No pretty photographs. There's just no way to pretty that up!

Miami Marathon 1/31/2010

I left it ALL out there! As you know going into the race I was gunning for a Boston Qualifying time of 3:40. As we started the day out the weather was cool (around 70) with a 30% chance of rain. What I didn't know at the time was that it was also damn near 90% humidity. Safe to say I didn't train in that amount of humidity.

That weekend leading up to the race I had some gastrointestinal issues. I will spare you the details, but it was the opposite of what you think of when you think of gastrointestinal issues. Anyway. I felt okay at the start of the race considering that this issue is pretty common for me.

The half and the full started together so Miranda, Ridge, Erin, Betsy and I all started out together. Betsy, Erin and I planned to stay together to try for 3:40, Miranda was running the half and planned to stay w/ us and Ridge was in it to finish it. We started out strong and I felt good. We were all drenched in sweat in the first two miles. The first couple of miles are always a little slower because of the huge crowds. Within the first 3 miles we had set into pace ahead of the pacers (there were two). When the first pacer caught us Erin told me to stay with him while she went to check on Betsy (she was pacing us). I stayed with him, but he started running sub 8 min miles and I thought I was going to die. I heard him say that by mile 10 we should be caught up. I've never done this before so I assumed he knew what he was doing, but with each mile we ticked off at sub 8s I started to fall back a bit more. Erin got back to me around mile 9 or 10 and I told her I was dying and that this guy was running sub-8s. I was pissed that I felt like this and that he was pushing it so hard. She said he was going a bit too fast (per the other pace guy) and that I should relax, slow down a bit, find my pace again and focus on getting my breath under control. She reminded me that I had trained for this and I could do this. So I did that and we settled in and I started to feel a bit better. I can't remember what mile the other pace guy caught up to us, but I know it was only a couple miles later that I started to lose him too. All I wanted was a huge jug of ICE WATER! I knew that I was over heated at that point. I was feeling a bit dizzy/chilled, but managed to keep it together. I continued to hydrate and dump water on my head.

At around 16.75 Erin told me that I needed to make a decision as to whether I was going to pick up and run the pace guy down or face not qualifying for Boston. I was so tapped out. I didn't have any particular pain that I felt like I needed to run through. I just felt like I couldn't keep up. My legs couldn't turn over any faster and I couldn't find a groove where I could breath and keep my heart rate in the right place. I was fatigued.

I told her I would make the decision in a quarter mile. As I thought about it I was reminded of many conversations I've had with Tom - particularly when I was training for a half Ironman and I was always frustrated with my bike speed. He would always ask me why I do this to myself. Hold myself to a standard, make it all about a time or other goal instead of just enjoying myself. This is about having fun. I WAS NOT having fun trying to run that guy down when I was just not feeling good. I decided I was going to find MY pace and run the last 9 miles of this race as MY race. The race that I was given today and stop holding myself to an arbitrary standard. I wanted to have fun and enjoy this.

I could tell that Erin was disappointed, but I couldn't worry about that. She made me reiterate that I was 100% sure I wouldn't be disappointed at the end even if I missed it only by minutes and I assured her that I was sure.

I don't feel like I quit or gave up. I feel like I assessed the situation and made a good decision. I was still going to have an amazing PR even if I slowed down to 10 min miles.

Erin dropped back with another runner that was suffering with a painful hip and I ran on. I ran alone focusing on my breath, stride and each mile marker. I got in MY rhythm and was feeling good. I saw Erin one more time for a bit then she dropped back to check on Betsy.

I again got in my zone. Running alone and just focusing I was able to maintain an 8:45 to 9:05 pace and I was happy with that. In the last 4 to 5 miles my calves were so tight that I was just waiting for one to charlie horse and for me to hit the ground in a writhing fit praying for relief from the pain, but I made it through. I finished around 3:50. (I haven't looked up the official results yet) My last marathon was 4:20 and my first marathon was 4:08... I feel really good about that PR!

I left every last ounce I had out there. Normally at the end of a race I kick on the afterburners and run as hard as I can through the last .2 to 1 mile. This race had taken it all already. I had no afterburner, no kick. Nothing. I just pushed as I had been and got there as fast as my legs would carry me.

I feel really good about the effort I put forth out there and wouldn't change anything about the race... okay maybe the toe thing.

I'm so glad to have had my girlfriends there to run this race with. I appreciate Erin running with me and helping me to 'almost' qualify. She pushed me just enough and knew when I was officially done "chasing it". I loved starting this race together.

Some people have asked me if I will try again. I am too close to it right now. I don't know. I have some serious SERIOUS toe injuries. Think blister on the entire end of your toe and I"m not sure of the outcome for one of my toes. Might permanently loose that sucker. (the nail not the toe) UGH.



After the race we relaxed a bit then ate our way through the day. There was a group from Madison that went (Fleet Feet/Race Day Events) and we all went to dinner as a group then went out dancing... FYI this is a great recovery strategy. Drinks and dancing late into the night. (which I swore I wouldn't do then did anyway)

It was a great trip! I needed it and I feel better. As you know running long/racing always brings out a lot of emotions and maybe even realizations. I've talked about the physical parts and will delve into the emotional at another time. This is long and I'm tired.