Where oh where is my mojo?

I had such great mojo w/ that winter marathon training (thank God or I never would have gotten through solo winter marathon training)... now it's like pulling teeth to get me to put on my running shoes and head out. My runs have been subpar lately and it makes me less than excited to get out there... I know I just need to get back in the groove and it will all fall together.

Good thing I've got a half marathon NEXT WEEKEND!! UGH! That sure crept up on me. I'm sure it will be fine... no PR, but fine. Trying to get my butt to the gym right now to get a run in. Weather is craptastic here this week and, well, the kid thing. :)

Looking forward to our trip to Seattle in a few weeks... at least I'll get to run w/ some friends! :D

The ability to choose.

Lately I am really trying to decide if going back to school is what I want/need to do. Yes I am into nutrition, but do I want to talk to people all day about it? Nutrition can be highly technical and there are millions of details regarding what all the different elements do to interact w/ all things in your body, but I feel it's really pretty basic. :) EAT WHOLE FOODS! I realize that most people I know eat fairly well so I am sheltered to the fact that most people do not eat well.... but am I the one to help them 'see the light'... I suspect I would be fighting and uphill battle and either be working w/ the infirmed or overweight people looking to shed a few pounds. I suspect that the latter group doesn't necessarily have a problem w/ what to eat as much as they have a problem w/ stepping away from the foods they know are making them overweight/sick. Having experienced a lot of this myself. They typically need a psychologist more than they need a nutritionist.

Lately I'm feeling like I should learn to grow my own food and learn how to sustain our family in a better way (not depending on mass produced products as much) if I really want to 'make a change' and help people.

So the saga continues. I'm slated to start pre-reqs in May... have until then to really decide what direction my life is taking I suppose. What do I want to 'be' when I grow up? Perhaps the answer is to not grow up.

Weighing the pros and cons of it. In the short term I would be taken away from my family, the time I spend running/riding/swimming would be decreased as I focus on my studies..... Long term I would have a masters degree and be employable ...

Decisions decisions decisions.

Jamie Oliver!!!

Jamie Oliver is a British Chef that is standing up for health HERE IN AMERICA!!!! Why does it take a person from another country to bring a call to arms to our health!!??

Jamie has recently been awarded the TED Award. TED, which stands for Technology, Entertainment, Design is a non-profit community of some of the world's most influential "thinkers and do-ers".

Jamie is speaking to my heart in THIS video!! It is his acceptance speech and you MUST LISTEN TO IT!

Jamie is bringing awareness to the state of our country's nutrition. I often feel like I live in a bubble. Most of the people that I know are feeding their families whole foods... good nutrition that they themselves are preparing. I have managed to surround myself by people that take the health and nutrition of their families seriously. As a result of this I forget (and find it so hard to believe) that not everyone approaches their families nutrtion in this fashion.

It's a hard reality that most families turn to fast food... to junk food to sustain (hardly the right word) their families. It breaks my heart to think of this. I can't fathom not feeding my kids the best food I can afford. I want them to have the best start in life... both from a nutrition standpoint and a behaviors (as in exposing them to whole foods ... knowing what's best for them and how to prepare them) that will last a lifetime.

Jamie also points out that the number one killers are not murder and cancer... they are HEALTH RELATED diseases.. obesity, heart disease etc. Things that are PREVENTABLE. Watch the video.. sign the petition! The changes that need to be made need to come from each and every one of us. This is not the schools problems or 'main st' problem alone.. we all need to take a stand and make the change... (Uh, to quote Michael Jackson)...

Let's do this parents...

A day...

My friend JENNIE did a day in the life and I thought it was a cool idea... a pictorial of a snapshot in time! So I did it too! My photos are not nearly as good as hers.

First thing in the a.m. is always a quart of water and my beloved cup of coffee made by Tom. :)


Next up breakfast for the kiddos:


today the boy requested OJ...and spring must be coming b/c I'm composting again.


and me too...


Then the kids watch a show while I clean up (maybe) and get our stuff together to go wherever.. usually the gym or school.



Check schedule/let dog out/get dressed







Now kids dressed... like an olympic event in and of itself.




Off too the gym...
Every time I leave the house I see this. It makes me hopeful that spring will some day get here.


ANNNDDDDD WWWWEEEE'''''RRRRREEEEE Back.

(Jennie mentioned all she does is feed kids and change kids)...

Lunch (have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE my Vitamix?)






Can't ignore the hugely messy kitchen any longer.. first unload the dishwasher (daily..ugh)



Now time to go exercise the dog. Off to Huntington State Park for some outdoors time.
The first thing Jason did was biff it in a huge water puddle necessitating a wardrobe change.


Throwing rocks.


Home again and a little computer time and a snack for Mommy while the kids paint. (jason also snacking... that kid must be growing today alone he ate 1.5 eggs, 2 pieces of bread, a mango, a bowl of oatmeal, about 8oz of smoothie, a bowl or more of snap peas, an apple and two servings of peanut butter, a kashi bar, EIGHT HUGE ravioli)







And of course nature calls. No more diapers, but this sure is fun!


Next up favorite activity... jumping on the bed.


Let's make some playdough ... so you'll have something to do while I make dinner.






(in the interest of REALITY.. though this activity looks all fun and nice there was plenty of "i can't do it" "help me NNNNOOOOWWWW!!!" "lily/jason took xyz from MMMMEEEE!!" during the dinner making/play dough playing party. So don't be fooled by the pretty pics!)

Tom got home a bit late and missed dinner. When he came home the kids were in full throttle run around like crazy people mode.





One last video while I clean the kitchen and throw a load in.


Check out that huge bowl of kitchen scraps headed to the compost. ONE day in the Mount house.. wow! Just started this up again, but will probably save us a bag of garbage a week!!!!


Ready for bed...






2 stories each and some cuddles and they're down for the count.. Lily got up once and she may not be out yet.. she likes to read/color for a while before bed. Jason is out like a light.



Now I'm working on the computer and Tom is checking out beer brewing stuff (just guessing) on his iPhone.

This was fun JENNIE!! Thanks for the idea. By the end of the day Lily was done having her photo taken, but Jason loves it! :D

My church

I had a fantastic spinning class today. Not because of the physical, but because of the mental.



Two songs really got me. Natasha Bedingfields Unwritten. I'm reaching for goals that only I can achieve and this song really spoke to me, but I Run For Life by Melissa Etheridge nearly brought me to my knees.



I run for life.. I run for those that can't.. I run for those that can.. I run because I can! To all of my training partners (real and virtual), to all my friends and loved ones I run for YOU!!!

This song drives home the mission. For those that are fundraising.. THANK YOU!! For those that aren't... donate. I know you know someone that is doing an event w/ Team In Training.. and if you don't I can hook you up!
http://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif

WHO DO YOU RUN FOR?

Swimming

I had some aha moments in swim last night. Things really feel like they are coming together and things the coach Chris in Madison would tell me are finally clicking. Like, "OH THAT'S what he meant when he told me to do that!", and "OH, that's what that was supposed to feel like!!" Three years later... not too bad. ha ha

I got bumped up to a faster lane last night and man I felt good about that. One of the guys (fyi, the lane was all guys and I kept up WITHOUT flippers) even said, "Go ahead you are faster than me!" REALLY he said that.. out loud. I almost had to shake the water out of my ears to be sure I heard him correctly!

I finally got my elbow position in the right place last night. Oh, this is what the finger tip drill was suppose to teach me!! I also finally started feeling my catch and really feeling like I'm making contact w/ the water and pulling myself through!

I'm actually feeling some power in my stroke. The number of strokes it takes me to get from one end to the other actually went down by TWO strokes from last Wed w/ some minor adjustments last night! This is huge for me. I've been struggling w/ this!

Last night as I was telling Tom about this I was so thankful to have triathlon, running, and swimming. SO thankful that I have a husband that understands and affords me the opportunity to train, practice and race! It felt so good to feel like I was improving at something! Improving at something that I do JUST FOR MYSELF!

To all my mom friends out there.. find your thing. The thing that brings you joy and MAKE MAKE MAKE the time for it. Having something outside of my mom role to really put the time in and excel at is HUGE for my happiness and satisfaction in life! H-U-G-E!

Feel the love!!

I don't know what happened, but for some reason I stopped getting notice of new comments on the blog. I just logged in to post something and saw that I had 57 comments that needed moderated. I really thought NO ONE was reading this thing anymore. Wow! I was wrong. I want to send a shout out (and apology) to everyone that has been commenting in the last month. I'm sorry that I didn't respond to everyone's great comments... particularly on my not so uplifting blog posts! I was in a slump and WOW you guys stepped up to offer support and encouragement and I totally missed it! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!! And KEEP IT coming.

Don't worry... I'm not deleting anyone's blogs (Sonja and Kelly)!! :D I love your blogs. You guys push me to be a better athlete and I love that!

Things on the athletic front are up and going up. I just registered for a local 1/2 marathon that I had forgotten was out there. I had the race bug and was thinking.. hmm I need to find something in April and I met a guy in Spin class today and he mentioned the Danbury 1/2! Oh how things happen. I'm trying REALLY hard to practice the 'law of attraction'... I get what I put out there! All things are possible! I have everything I need to accomplish my goals RIGHT HERE AND RIGHT NOW! And then BAM. I put it out there and not 24 hours later it's given to me! AWESOMENESS!!

Swimming seems to really be coming together... I still can't get to the end of the lane w/ less than about 19 strokes (frustrating), but I feel like I'm getting stronger, my stroke is getting better and I'm feeling more confident... and that's a lot. I am looking forward to swim work outs and that's saying even more!

I feel like I'm starting to connect with more people (even if a lot of them aren't in my same geographic area) and that is helping to give me more spunk and confidence as well. Thanks for the GRRRR Sonja! :D I used it in spin class today!

P90X is back on the schedule. I did legs and back yesterday I'm feeling it today.. in a good way. Spin was a struggle for the legs, but my mind was able to overpower the pain! I'm also trying to concentrate more on my core in all things I do. I know I have a weak core and when I am consistent in working on it I definitely feel it - in a good way - in all athletic endeavors.

Thanks again ladies. It means so much to me. I enjoyed reading each and EVERY comment I received!!!!

Mama's back!

Okay so I realize my last post was pretty, uh, negative.

Let's leave that behind. The negativity!

I had a pretty nice slump there after Miami.. Post race blues hit HARD! Post race, post girls weekend, return to the cold and single parenting all in one day does not do well for me!!

I'm happy to report.. I'M OVER IT! I got back on track w/ my diet I pushed through the slump and I'm ready to get at it again!

I'm spinning, swimming and running and day dreaming about when I can take the biking outside. I'm working on finding some friends both local and around New England to ride with. I just met Mandy and found out she is training for a marathon (or two) AND Timberman. She lives in Maine and I hope I can join her for some rides this summer. Check out the local scenery.

I also met another woman that lives in New York (upstate) and she's going to join me for the NorthFace Challenge. She is training for Lake Placid - her first IM and I hope to make it to Ithaca to ride w/ her as well.

It feels good to be back and to be connecting w/ others. This weekend I'm going to a water running clinic w/ the local tri club... connections connections connections.. priming the pump for spring. I know it will come!!!!

Okay off for an adventure to the children's museum with some mom friends!!!

Fing Blogs!

Why do I read so many people's blogs. I really just need to stop the insanity. Seriously. Sometimes I feel all uplifted and I really do like to look into other people's lives - trying to escape mine, voyeuristic?? Who knows?

For the most part they just piss me off. There are the athletic mom type blogs where these women are seemingly kicking ass and taking names in whatever their chosen sport is all while balancing motherhood and sometimes full time jobs with the greatest of ease. They chat about how they ran 7 minute miles in their last long run and won their age group in LIKE EVERY RACE they have done!!!! Their kids are great and their abs are ripped and they have the photos and finish times to prove it.

Then their are the blogs (moms again) w/ beautiful photography of fabulous craft projects they do WITH THEIR KIDS and everyone loves each other, it's all grand and no one yells and the kids go to bed when they are told to go to bed. They all eat yummy home cooked organic food that their kids devour with out complaint. You know the ones...


HRMPH!! Do you think they are REAL? Do you think that life is as it is depicted. I mean yea, the people are real and their lives are real they are blogging about THEIR reality, but do you think my perception is correct?

Where are the screaming banshies that bounce off the walls, complain about EVERYTHING you put in front of them be it food or activities. They want you to play with them, but then when you finally do decide to give it a shot hoping it doesn't bore you into an early grave they tell you YOU AREN'T DOING IT RIGHT! Well shit if I'm going to be bored to an early death AND I can't do it right screw it.. play with your brother/sister. Where are the balls of dog hair finding homes and creating colonies in every corner. Where are the dirty dishes in the sink, the never ending piles of laundry in some state of done and not done, the pajamas that I'm pretty sure I've had on for three days in a row, the cups of coffee, the tv shows while I pretend I care or catch a nap, the clutter that seems to always be here despite my efforts to dispell it?

Where is the piss poor attitude and thinking... uh, I WANTED this? Where's the reality folks... you are making the rest of us feel like shit!

Perhaps I just am not that zen? Perhaps?? You think? I wish oh, wish I could be those ladies. I'm okay in my speed and I'm happy w/ that.. but these ladies are out their racing a ton. I could not keep up with that.... I've tried and not even at their pace. Guess I should just accept that. We are all different, eh? I wish I could sit down and ENJOY doing crafts with my kids, enjoy just playing silly kid games. Eat them up and love every second to include the many tantrums, loud LOUD noises and messes. I need a chill pill.. hmm HAPPY pill? Little "purple" pill.. or is it little "blue" pill. I can't remember..... What I really need is SOME FREAKIN' WARMTH!!! A nice warm day where we can go play and climb and run and scream OUT SIDE!!!! ALL DAY! A park to WALK to would be GREAT! I miss Madison!

Okay... I just had to get that out of my head. Now I'm off to delete almost EVERY ONE of my RSS feeds so I can stop pretending I'm fast, clean, creative or really fit to be a parent! ha ha I'll be buried under a pile of laundry, drinking a cup of coffee in my three day old jammies if you need me. No pretty photographs. There's just no way to pretty that up!

Miami Marathon 1/31/2010

I left it ALL out there! As you know going into the race I was gunning for a Boston Qualifying time of 3:40. As we started the day out the weather was cool (around 70) with a 30% chance of rain. What I didn't know at the time was that it was also damn near 90% humidity. Safe to say I didn't train in that amount of humidity.

That weekend leading up to the race I had some gastrointestinal issues. I will spare you the details, but it was the opposite of what you think of when you think of gastrointestinal issues. Anyway. I felt okay at the start of the race considering that this issue is pretty common for me.

The half and the full started together so Miranda, Ridge, Erin, Betsy and I all started out together. Betsy, Erin and I planned to stay together to try for 3:40, Miranda was running the half and planned to stay w/ us and Ridge was in it to finish it. We started out strong and I felt good. We were all drenched in sweat in the first two miles. The first couple of miles are always a little slower because of the huge crowds. Within the first 3 miles we had set into pace ahead of the pacers (there were two). When the first pacer caught us Erin told me to stay with him while she went to check on Betsy (she was pacing us). I stayed with him, but he started running sub 8 min miles and I thought I was going to die. I heard him say that by mile 10 we should be caught up. I've never done this before so I assumed he knew what he was doing, but with each mile we ticked off at sub 8s I started to fall back a bit more. Erin got back to me around mile 9 or 10 and I told her I was dying and that this guy was running sub-8s. I was pissed that I felt like this and that he was pushing it so hard. She said he was going a bit too fast (per the other pace guy) and that I should relax, slow down a bit, find my pace again and focus on getting my breath under control. She reminded me that I had trained for this and I could do this. So I did that and we settled in and I started to feel a bit better. I can't remember what mile the other pace guy caught up to us, but I know it was only a couple miles later that I started to lose him too. All I wanted was a huge jug of ICE WATER! I knew that I was over heated at that point. I was feeling a bit dizzy/chilled, but managed to keep it together. I continued to hydrate and dump water on my head.

At around 16.75 Erin told me that I needed to make a decision as to whether I was going to pick up and run the pace guy down or face not qualifying for Boston. I was so tapped out. I didn't have any particular pain that I felt like I needed to run through. I just felt like I couldn't keep up. My legs couldn't turn over any faster and I couldn't find a groove where I could breath and keep my heart rate in the right place. I was fatigued.

I told her I would make the decision in a quarter mile. As I thought about it I was reminded of many conversations I've had with Tom - particularly when I was training for a half Ironman and I was always frustrated with my bike speed. He would always ask me why I do this to myself. Hold myself to a standard, make it all about a time or other goal instead of just enjoying myself. This is about having fun. I WAS NOT having fun trying to run that guy down when I was just not feeling good. I decided I was going to find MY pace and run the last 9 miles of this race as MY race. The race that I was given today and stop holding myself to an arbitrary standard. I wanted to have fun and enjoy this.

I could tell that Erin was disappointed, but I couldn't worry about that. She made me reiterate that I was 100% sure I wouldn't be disappointed at the end even if I missed it only by minutes and I assured her that I was sure.

I don't feel like I quit or gave up. I feel like I assessed the situation and made a good decision. I was still going to have an amazing PR even if I slowed down to 10 min miles.

Erin dropped back with another runner that was suffering with a painful hip and I ran on. I ran alone focusing on my breath, stride and each mile marker. I got in MY rhythm and was feeling good. I saw Erin one more time for a bit then she dropped back to check on Betsy.

I again got in my zone. Running alone and just focusing I was able to maintain an 8:45 to 9:05 pace and I was happy with that. In the last 4 to 5 miles my calves were so tight that I was just waiting for one to charlie horse and for me to hit the ground in a writhing fit praying for relief from the pain, but I made it through. I finished around 3:50. (I haven't looked up the official results yet) My last marathon was 4:20 and my first marathon was 4:08... I feel really good about that PR!

I left every last ounce I had out there. Normally at the end of a race I kick on the afterburners and run as hard as I can through the last .2 to 1 mile. This race had taken it all already. I had no afterburner, no kick. Nothing. I just pushed as I had been and got there as fast as my legs would carry me.

I feel really good about the effort I put forth out there and wouldn't change anything about the race... okay maybe the toe thing.

I'm so glad to have had my girlfriends there to run this race with. I appreciate Erin running with me and helping me to 'almost' qualify. She pushed me just enough and knew when I was officially done "chasing it". I loved starting this race together.

Some people have asked me if I will try again. I am too close to it right now. I don't know. I have some serious SERIOUS toe injuries. Think blister on the entire end of your toe and I"m not sure of the outcome for one of my toes. Might permanently loose that sucker. (the nail not the toe) UGH.



After the race we relaxed a bit then ate our way through the day. There was a group from Madison that went (Fleet Feet/Race Day Events) and we all went to dinner as a group then went out dancing... FYI this is a great recovery strategy. Drinks and dancing late into the night. (which I swore I wouldn't do then did anyway)

It was a great trip! I needed it and I feel better. As you know running long/racing always brings out a lot of emotions and maybe even realizations. I've talked about the physical parts and will delve into the emotional at another time. This is long and I'm tired.

Miami Bound

And we're off to the races. I head to Miami tomorrow and I can't wait. I so need this break and hopefully I'll be able to get my head on straight in the days leading up to race day.

Think of me on Sunday starting bright and early!!!!

I fell into the parental black hole!!!

Tell me you know what I'm talking about. The downward spiral that sends you reeling and unable to climb back out. All is wrong. 1. your kid(s) is/are nuts. Psycho temper tantrums, you can't do a damn thing right. Everything you try to do starts a big whinefest. Today the whinefest began over a particular spoon and went on for a good hour. 2. it all builds up on you and start to react/respond poorly and soon you see everything that they are doing as WRONG WRONG WRONG... hhhmmm. Who's mirroring who here? We did this back and forth all day. By the time I dropped the kids off at school at 12:30pm I was spent! I nearly started crying when I asked their teacher if my kid was acting out in her class too.. she, of course, said no. Great.. they reserve only their best for me. Thanks for that. I was relieved to hear that all was well at school.

I wanted to crawl in a hole and die most of the last two days. Parenting is hard. Thankless and at times (let's face it) largely unrewarding. I found that place today where even the sweet little "I love you mommy's" didn't snap me out of my depressed angry rage. I would just say, "thanks, love you too." w/ barely any emotion at all.

My mom has always told me that she didn't like me until I was about 10 years old. I always thought that was pretty awful, but now I get it. Mom.. I TOTALLY get it.

Tomorrow we are going to have a 'play' day. I will spend all my time (aside from essential tasks like, uh, going to the bathroom and preparing meals - not at the same time) playing w/ the kids.

When it comes down to it I'm afraid the behavior has little to do w/ the kid(s) and a lot to do w/ the amount of time (or lack thereof) I am spending really engaging w/ them.

Okay ... time to get my head out of my ass and start getting on the floor w/ my kids. The dishes, laundry, sweeping, cleaning, blogging, emailing, internet surfing... so forth and so on will always be there. My sweet little kids (who are quickly moving to the dark side as a result of my lack of attention) will not.

I see the light outside of the dark hole.. must move toward the light. And on that note. It's time to put away the last of the dinner dishes and go put my dears to bed. Who are happily playing w/ their dad... far away from their ogre of a mother!

Lara Bar give away at inTraining

Another great deal brought to you by Laura!!!

Another blog I frequent is doing a LARABAR giveaway.. now you know I love me some LARABARS!!!! I would go on about them, but she does such a good job I don't think it's necessary!

You can check it out at inTraining. If you win you have to share at least ONE w/ me! ha ha

Enjoy!!!

If you want a new suit check THIS OUT!

How cool is this suit!? I just love it, but I bet this won't be the one I get!

I found a link to Splish Suits on Run Faster Mommy! and discovered they were having a grab bag sale! $20 for a polyester suit!!! So I rolled the dice and ordered two! One one piece and one two piece. I'll post what I get. Hopefully they are cute!!!!

Just wanted to share this opportunity. I've never used a Splish suit, but all things I read were good! So if you need a little motivation to get in the pool check it out. A new suit always helps me. Okay I've only ever purchased two suits... which is why I need another. One of my suits really needs to be retired!!

Last week before Miami. I'm trying really hard to visualize myself qualifying for Boston. Running through any pain and flying to that finish line with a big smile on my face. Unfortunately so far mostly I've just had bad dreams about not being able to get the job done. Hopefully that's not a premonition.

I am really READY to go to Miami and get some sun shine and girl time. This momma needs a break!

Flippers!!!

I think I found the answer to my swimming woes! I love swimming now.. WITH FLIPPERS! I don't swim the whole workout w/ flippers, but swimming w/ flippers does two things. 1. it gives me confidence b/c I'm not the SLOWEST swimmer in the world w/ them and 2. it gives me the ability to focus on my arms and technique w/o all the high cardio I get from trying to kick and the negative (I'M THE SLOWEST SWIMMER IN THE WORLD) talk.

I'm getting some good feedback from the swim coach and it seems to finally be sinking in because REALLY it's the same stuff that Coach Chris has been telling me for years. I swear it's the flippers allowing me to think and concentrate more! There is hope that I can be the second to last slowest swimmer in the world!

I completed 2800 yards yesterday. I can't believe it! That kind of yardage is unheard of in my swim world. Not in 1hour and 15 mins anyway. I'm happy with that ... even if I cheated and used flippers. I'll take what I can get now.

I took my first spin class at the new gym yesterday too. The lady got right to it and left me begging for cool down so despite the fact that their bikes are kinda ghetto and I really missed my spinning buddy Marie it was a good ride and I was SO GLAD to not be running! Tri season is upon us folks. Time to mix it up.

I also registered for The North Face Challenge 13.1 in Bear Mountain, NY. 13.1 miles of trails on May 9th. Anyone care to join me?

training coming to an end.. FINALLY!!

Things are a brewin' in my mind. I go back and forth. I feel kinda crazy. I've had a rough (am having) taper. My last hard week of training knocked me on my ass. I had all of these grand plans for 2010. I was basically planning on coming out swinging and kicking this year's ass. I was feeling so damn good during my Miami training that I figured.. why the hell not.

Then I got my ass handed to me. The wheels fell off and since then I have been re-evaluating some things. I've been reading a lot of blogs (uh, I'm bored and lacking personal connection) of women triathletes.. CRAZY athletes. Good talented kicking ass triathletes. Women I couldn't even touch if competing against them. I wanted to be them. They are kicking ass and taking names, they are moms, they are in my age group!!! If they can do it ... damn it all I can do it.

Then "the" week happened and reality came crashing down on me. Oh yes, not 6 months ago I was having trouble w/ my energy levels. Not 6 months ago I was seeking help from a doctor to get me back out there. Not 6 months ago I was ready to wave the white flag. Okay.. perspective. I'm crashing again.. at least that's what it feels like.

My body was screaming at my mind... RE-EVALUATE.

My knee jerk reaction was to pull way back! No 70.3, no long trail runs. Maybe no triathlon.. AGAIN this year!

Then I read THIS post ... this lady is a kick ass athlete. I could only dream of being as fast as her. As determined as her.. as successful as her. Wait. Did she just say she was going to do the sport for the love of it and not for the PR of it? Shit, I can do that... right? I can get out there and train around my schedule. Not be a slave to it... right? Isn't that what it's all about? Can I? Can I have a schedule and not follow it to the letter EVERY BLESSED DAY! Can I do that and not feel like a total failure? Can I??? IF I'm going to do a 70.3 this year I must do it that way. I must put my kids first, my health first. I must rest when my body says rest. I must skip a workout when life doesn't allow me to get it in and feel okay w/ it.

So let's see folks. Can I? I have some time to figure it out.

When it comes down to it... I won't be a rock star this year, but maybe I'll get myself out there!! Today is registration for the North Face Challenge... so we know I'll be doing that in May. It's a start!

I will make final decisions after I get back from Miami on the rest of it. Can't wait for some warmth, sun and girl time!

Happiness

Thanks TriMommy for tagging me to make a list of 10 things that make me happy. You must have known I needed to focus on that today!

1. My kids telling me they love me - randomly and w/o prompting
2. Freedom (via my husband) to go out and work out or go out w/ my friends
3. A good drenching hard workout
4. The resulting hunger from said workout
5. My morning americano - also provided by my husband EVERY Morning!
6. My iPhone.. yes, love that thing!
7. Silence.
8. email - I love getting email.
9. a hot shower. Long, hot and uninterrupted.
10. Did I already mention a good cup of coffee. Love a nice bold cup of coffee.

Let's keep it simple!

Now I'm supposed to tag 10 blog friends to do the same:
Jennie - The Perry's of West Seattle
Karen - pdx Mounts
Julie - The Sweet Life (or should I be tagging Todd?)
Todd - The Sweet Life
Karen P - The Golden(ing) Children
Katie - Thirty Something Motherhood
Gena - The Slowest Triathlete
Steph - The Life and Times of the Lamm Fam
Marie - Brownbuilt
Amy - Take Two Please

On that note I have been re-evaluating my goals for 2010 and I think I'm going to dumb it down a bit. I've loved this marathon training, but I'm not ready to continue this level through out the year. I've decided to do shorter tris instead of going for the half ironman distance this year. I want to keep it simple. I'm going to be starting a masters program and I'm not sure what kind of time commitment (stress) that will add and I don't want to overload the family. My job fist and foremost is to keep this house going and give my kids my best. i have the rest of my life to do 70.3s and Ironman races... after I'm done w/ school and the kids are in school.

I know after this training session that I can get a butt kicking workout in a short amount of time. Before I always felt like the shorter runs were beneficial, but I did like them as much as the longer ones because I didn't feel like I had really pushed it... well, I hadn't. Now I know I can get that 'worked over' feeling w/ a lesser time commitment. So this year I will try to get faster at shorter distances... until fall when I'll be running the Portland Marathon w/ some friends.... Jennie, Julie, Karen.. Karen P?

I'm feeling a bit better after an extra day off and am looking forward to a short run (12miles) outside tomorrow.

The wheels fell off the bus!

The wheels fell off the bus!

Where oh where did my energy and motivation go? I was doing SO well! I was cruising along and loving life. Running and loving it! Now, ugh. I want to go to bed!!! I gave myself an extra day off this week to no avail. I got through my run yesterday and it was fine, but I'm lacking the mental stamina and determination to get through it and I'm far from excited about it. I'm HOPING HOPING HOPING this is part of the normal process. I've been training hard and now my body is kind of revolting... just in time for taper. I'm trying really hard to avoid my previous INSTAtaper where I pretty much stop running right before the race....

My BQ dreams are feeling unachievable right now. Again, hoping it's just mental. I know I need to maintain a positive outlook and trust the training I've done. I think I can, I think I can, but first I think I need to nap!

Need some training inspiration?

I've been searching around triathlon blogs and fell upon Sonja Wieck's blog. My first thought was.. wow I want to be her when I grow up. As I blog stalk and read it all she is an animal. She works hard and is truly inspirational. I just wanted to give her a shout out and share the enthusiasm.

Check her out HERE!

Last big week.. Kicking my ...

So I made a big mistake and ate dark DARK chocolate around 8:30pm last night. This caused me to toss and turn till .. I have no idea when, but it wasn't comfortable. Heart pounding mind spinning.. just wishing I would fall asleep. Of course we still have at least one kid come to our bed every night.. yes STILL! So my sleep SUCKED and I felt LESS than rested when I woke up. I was not at all excited about going to do my speed work out .. on the dreadmill. I was so frustrated with myself because I caused this lack of energy.. damn chocolate. This is the first time this entire training session that I've really dreaded a work out so I guess I should just be happy about that.

I dragged myself (and the kids) to the gym and slugged it out. I managed to do 8x800 at 7:30. I wanted to do 7:20s, but it just wasn't going to happen. I did a 400 running slowly between each 800 and walked the 400 at the halfway point. I was reminded by one of my WI training 'partners' that this sort of work out was mental.. that I could do it and that it was good mental training for race day.. It's going to be hard, but I'm not going to quit. So I just kept making myself focus on that. And I wore my Lk Stevens 70.3 shirt so I could see that mDot staring back at me in my reflection to remind myself that this is just the beginning of my season. I have many fun things ahead... to include another shot at the 70.3.

I was SO wiped out after this workout that I put a video in and snoozed on the couch (w/ two toddlers climbing on me) while they watched tv... then had a cup of coffee when I got up.

I felt much better after the nap and half caff coffee. Then it was make dinner then off to the Bethel Tri Club meeting. I stayed for an hour to chat some people up and find out where folks are racing this year. It's looking like I might be doing The Timberman in New Hampshire in August and will do the Rev3 Oly to get my feet wet in the sport again since it's been a long while since I last raced. I'd rather go race where some team mates are going to be than do it all by myself. Besides I've never been to New Hampshire and Tom and I want to see as much as the New England states as we can before we - eventually - return to the PNW.

After my quick jaunt at the meeting I beat feet to swimming. I SWAM 2700 yards. TWENTY SEVEN HUNDRED. Granted it was mostly w/ flippers and there was quite a bit of kicking (which is great after an ass kicking speed work out), but DAMN!!! I worked for it too! The surprising thing is that I WANTED to go to swimming. I didn't have to drag myself there kicking and screaming the whole way. I willing went and jumped right in and swam swam swam. I got some great pointers from the coach and am hopeful that things will come along in the next 3 months!

Okay... off to bed. Please God let me get a good nights rest. (I left the rest of the chocolate in the freezer!)