How it all fits together.

I've recently found some old friends on facebook and it really got me remembering past experiences and thinking about how we are all a product of those experiences and the people that were involved in them. I even feel that looking back and remembering them - both the experiences and the people - allows for additional lessons on life.

It's amazing to me how we are so formed by these experiences. I contacted someone that I left on not great terms because I was looking for a mutual friend. I was almost surprised when he messaged me back... and saying that he didn't feel our parting was as awful as I was remembering it. Regardless of the horribleness of our separating - whether it was 'that' bad or not - I started thinking back to the time I spent w/ this friend and the fun we had. I also started thinking about the characteristics of him that I enjoyed so much (Like letting me off the hook for being an ass) and remembering what fun I had when we were hanging out. It also made me think about what a moron I was for treating him so badly... allowed me to see myself almost from above or outside of myself... to see how much I have changed and grown... to challenge myself to continue to change and grow... to be thankful for him for being so kind and fun and for being a part of the building of my current self. To be thankful for all of the wonderful people who have helped to form me.. to shape my experiences and challenge me to grow. It also gives me pause to think about how I might touch other people that I could help them grow. It's such an intricate web. Even the smallest thing that we say to people can make such an impact. Amazing.

How cool is Facebook... or myspace. To be able to make these connections. So all of you that are reading this and not on Facebook or Myspace.. get with it! ;)


And to take it to the next level and think about how my kids are their own people and will have their own experiences that will shape who they become! Little things I'll probably never know about that will make them the people they are! Fun, scary and amazing all at once.

Ok.. that's about as deep as I get these days...

Isolation...

Being a stay at home mom can be quite isolating! I miss the days of hanging out w/ my girlfriends non-stop and talking about anything and everything. Now I see my mom friends once a week and here and there in between. Sure I see Tom every day, but it's just not the same. I miss impromptu get togethers. I miss sleep overs! I miss sharing an apartment w/ a girlfriend and staying up way to late talking and drinking wine and then doing it all over again the next night. I miss meeting people for lunch. Damn... I just feel so alone sometimes. How can I feel so alone when I am w/ two people EVERY WAKING MOMENT of my life? OH right, they have little to say!

I certainly don't want to be all scheduled and have activities w/ the kids every day just to get my socializing on, but most days I wish I had something to do w/ someone. Today the kids and I walked over and did some errands and got a coffee and a muffin and walked to the park... while that was all well and good it would have been so much better to do w/ someone else... another adult .. that will talk back to me (I didn't walk around talking to myself.. don't worry) and that - most likely - won't whine and complain and cry intermittently throughout the entire excursion.

Well, I best go get the "non-talking, almost walking, a few word saying, whining when they want something, pooping in their pants (or on the carpet like yesterday), mommy wanting, cutest ever love bug's" dinner ready before they get up and want to eat pretty much immediately!!!

Sometimes I feel like I need a life.. ha ha I know, I know... I have a damn good life! :) ha ha

Oh, real quick... my swimming lesson this morning was like school for the gifted! I used BOTH a pull buoy (floating device you hold between your legs) and paddles (go on your hands) to do my 10x100 (that's 10 repeats of 100 yards - aka 4 laps - so um FORTY laps) this a.m.... it was hard to turn around w/ my flippers on my HANDS! ha ha Then I got to do my 10 x 50 w/ flippers (took off the paddles)... Next week I'm doing the water aerobics w/ the old ladies in the deep end. ha ha

TNT Tri - 1st meeting

Okay... just got back from my initial meeting w/ TNT for the Tri... uh, we start training next Tuesday at 7am.. in a SWIM SUIT!!! Way to make me show up for the 'first day of school' in a swim suit!! Can't we uh, run or something? I know how to run... I'm not so sure I'm going to look like an athlete 1. in a bathing suit, 2. in a pool. ha ha Do I wear my goggles and swim cap?? ha ha I'll let you guys know how it goes.

We are going to try out a trailer/stroller from Schwinn tomorrow... I HOPE the kids like it and I HOPE we can keep it... I've got to go for a 1 hour long ride next Wed.... maybe I'll be doing that when Tom comes home. Hope Tom's ready to do some serious baby duty!!! ha ha He'll be alone w/ them for two hours next Sat while I'm out on a group ride. Hope I can hang...

Did I mention that our coach has done TWO Iron Mans and an Ultra Marathon.. oh and he's 23 years old.

I also got information about my honored patient her name is Savannah Lynn Figgy – she is 8 years old and was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (ALL) on June 6th, 2005. She is currently in the maintenance phase of chemotherapy. She receives chemo and gets blood tests once a month, every three months she has a lumbar puncture and she takes medication daily, weekly and every weekend. Savannah’s treatment is scheduled to end on August 16, 2007… just ten days before our big race. This will be a big day for Savannah and we will be excited to celebrate this great milestone by completing our race. As I write this letter Savannah is getting reacclimated in school after a round of treatment. I am thinking about taking on something new and different and it is a bit scary… reminding myself of what Savannah is going through will help to inspire and motivate me to stretch and challenge myself.

The mission of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is to cure leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin’s disease and myeloma, and to improve the quality of life of patients and their families. 75% of the total expenses of the Society’s audited annual report are spent on this mission. The Society provides support to families who are battling the disease through patient educations programs, information resource centers, peer and family support programs and patient financial aid and supports research to improve the treatment, drugs and survival rates of all blood cancers.

My first fund raising deadline is June 1st so please send your donations in as soon as possible – you may mail me a check made out to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (put my name on the memo line) or donate online by going to my fund raising site: http://www.active.com/donate/tntwi/tntwiLMount


Plugging my nose and jumping in!